Yearning
by NikkiB1973
Summary: With the loss of Jacob in an unexpected vampire attack, Bella is grieving. This is a story of how she works her way through her unhappiness and finds love again...but with who? Set way after Eclipse AU... (featuring Seth and Embry, plus other members of the pack)
1. Chapter 1

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part One-Grieving **

Seth watched his sister, Leah; comb her short hair quickly before adjusting the lapels of her jacket. She applied some red lipstick before grabbing hold of her purse and starting to leave the house. Just before she reached the door he stepped into her path and stopped her.

"I want to come..." he said quietly, looking her in the eye.

Leah sighed. "No Seth, she is still very fragile right now, maybe later." She tried to get around him, but he caught hold of her arm. Leah was still shocked at her younger brother's strength.

"I need to see her, Lee. I am coming..." the determination was clear in his voice.

"This is your misplaced guilt talking, Seth. I told you she is still not up to any other visitors. She is still grieving." She shrugged his arm off irritably. "Just back off for now, okay."

"I need to tell her how sorry I am, I have to Lee, this is killing me..." Seth's voice cracked at the end and he wiped at his face angrily as a stray tear leaked out of the corner of his eye.

Leah gave her brother a sympathetic glance. He was still only sixteen, but appeared at least twenty five. The muscle mass he had packed on and the rapid growth spurt he had experienced due to his werewolf gene had changed him from the happy go lucky boy she used to know. She reached out and engulfed him in a quick hug. His head dropped onto her shoulder. "He died saving me, Lee. I need to tell Bella how sorry I am..." he begged her again.

"I know Sethy, I know. It wasn't your fault, none of us got there in time. You and Jake were outnumbered. He was our Alpha and he was in charge. You did the best you could and Bella knows that, you have nothing to apologise for..." She whispered gently.

Seth's whole body shuddered in her arms. "He was only eighteen, they were so happy Lee. He was going to ask her to marry him. He told me that just before we got ambushed. I saw the ring in his head that he had bought for her. He had kept it a secret right until the end. He was just so happy that he let it slip...if I had just done as he asked he wouldn't have had to save my sorry ass..."

Leah pulled away from her brother and held him by the arms. His face was now awash with tears and so was hers. She finally gave in; maybe it would help Bella to be able to talk to Seth about what happened. He certainly needed to at least say sorry, although it was not his fault. "Okay Seth, if you really need to do this, but if Bella gets too upset you need to leave, alright?"

Seth nodded. "Thanks Lee..."

She patted him on the arm and waited for him as he went to get his coat. She hoped that she was doing the right thing.

XXXXXX

Charlie placed the plate in front of his daughter. "I made you some food, Kiddo..."

Bella pushed the plate away. "I don't feel that hungry, dad. Thanks anyway..." she replied dully.

Charlie grimaced at the dead tone of her voice. She was so pale and thin it was heartbreaking, she had hardly eaten or spoken since being told of Jacob's death. He felt his own emotions overwhelm him as he thought about Jacob; the boy had been like his own son. The fact that Bella had chosen him over that Cullen lad had made him the happiest man alive apart from Jake's father, Billy. He winced as he thought about his oldest friend. Billy was not coping either, Charlie felt like he was being torn in two as he tried to hold his daughter and best friend together.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his reverie. "I am just going to answer the door, Bells." He watched as she nodded and just stared into space again.

Charlie sighed as he walked toward the front door and opened it. Embry Call, one of Jacob's best friends stood on the doorstep; he gave Bella's dad a hesitant smile. "I hope you don't mind, I know I was only here yesterday, but I thought I would just check on how she's doing."

"Not great to tell you the truth. I can't get her to eat anything and I need to go check on Billy." Charlie glanced back into the house. "Would you be able to keep her company until Leah gets here? She must be running late."

"Leah?" Embry sounded surprised at that. "Yeah of course I will."

Charlie gave Embry a grateful smile. "She's in the kitchen, thanks son."

Embry slipped past Charlie and made his way to join Bella in the kitchen. A lump caught in his throat as he saw her with her elbows on the table, head in hands. She was weeping again. He went over and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms. Feeling Embry's warmth surround her made Bella think of Jacob, and she collapsed against him, soaking his shirt with her tears.

XXXXXX

Leah pulled up into the driveway of the Swan house. She noticed that Charlie's cruiser was not there, although she saw Embry's old pickup parked in the road. "Why is he here?" she said aloud, causing Seth to stare at her.

"Who's here?" he asked in confusion.

Leah pointed out Embry's truck and Seth frowned. "I thought it was just you that had been keeping an eye on Bella. You told me that she didn't want to see anyone else..." He said accusingly.

"Bella hasn't been saying much of anything, Seth. Her dad was the one who told me she wasn't up for any other visitors. How has Embry managed to keep this quiet?" She wondered.

Seth was no longer listening; he was already out of the car and running up the steps. Leah swiftly followed him. She told him to calm down before knocking gently on the door. It seemed an age before anyone answered, but eventually Embry opened it. He regarded them both coolly.

"I thought it was just you coming over," he said abruptly to Leah, ignoring Seth completely.

"Why are you here, Embry?" Leah questioned him. "Bella needs space from all the pack."

"Well he is the last person she will want to see..." Embry shot back bitterly as he glared over at Seth.

"That's enough, Embry." Leah warned. "Seth has just as much right to see her as you. Now let us in."

Embry locked eyes with her for a few moments before grudgingly letting them both through. As Seth passed him he caught the younger boys arm in a tight grip. "If I see that you are upsetting her, I will throw you out myself."

Seth flinched at Embry's tone. He knew that Jacob's best friend blamed him for his death, no one had said so openly, but both Embry and Quil had been cold toward him ever since it had happened. "There is no need. If it upsets her that I am here, I will leave voluntarily."

Embry glared at him one last time before releasing his hold. He stepped aside and Seth went down the hallway into the kitchen to join his sister. His heart stuttered as he caught his first sight of Bella since the funeral. She had lost weight and her eyes looked huge due to the fact that her face was thinner. Dark circles underscored her eyes and she appeared so fragile. His sister was sitting next to her, talking in gentle tones.

"Bella..." Seth whispered her name so as not to startle her.

Bella raised her head, her long hair framing her pale face. "Hello Seth, it's good to see you..." she said faintly.

Seth swallowed nervously. He took a seat opposite Bella as Embry sat on the other side of her. He felt the older boy's eyes on him and he took a deep breath before speaking. "It's good to see you too Bella...I hope its okay that I came..."

"Of course, I have been meaning to ask about you Seth. Sorry I have just been so, you know..." her voice trailed off as she began to cry again. Leah put her arm around the other girl and stroked her hair.

Seth locked eyes with his sister. "Should I go?" he asked desperately.

"Yeah, go you are upsetting her..."Embry interjected.

"That's not your decision." Leah said heatedly, her anger at Embry's treatment of her brother causing her temper to rise.

Bella wiped at her eyes and stared around at them in confusion. "What's going on here? Why should Seth go?"

"I just thought because he was involved in what happened to Jake, Bella." Embry said huskily. He took hold of her hand as he explained. "I didn't want you more upset."

Bella winced as he mentioned Jacob. "What happened was not Seth's fault if that is what you are implying, Embry. They were both outnumbered..."

"Bella you don't need to talk about this..." Leah said gently.

"Yes we do..." Bella interrupted, life showing in her eyes for the first time. "I don't want anyone blaming themselves for what happened. We all need to support each other. Embry you need to see past what went on. Seth was not responsible, he was pinned down by two vampires and Jacob went to his aid..."

Embry looked at her sadly. "If Seth had not tried to act the hero and attack the leeches before we all arrived then Jake wouldn't have had to save his sorry ass. I am sorry Bella but the kid has to face up to what he did. Jake told him to stay out of sight but he didn't listen..."

"That's enough Embry..." Leah said fiercely as she saw the distraught look on her brother's face.

"I have had enough of this..." Bella stood up and began to pace back and forth. "If you all can't forgive each other and get past this then you all need to leave. Jacob was your Alpha and the last thing he would want is you to all fight amongst yourselves. Both he and Seth were ambushed, that is the end of it. Seth was going to be discovered anyway he needed to go out there and defend himself. You know this Embry..."

"I am sorry Bella..." Seth cried out desperately. "So sorry..."

Leah went over to calm her brother down. "Seth I think we need to go..."

Bella sighed. "Seth, listen to me. It's not your fault, alright. I am feeling rather tired though. So if you'll excuse me..." she left the room, wiping at her eyes.

Embry sighed and ran a hand through his short black hair. "Just give her space Seth. Let her grieve in peace. Seeing you reminds of her of what happened." he followed Bella out of the room.

Seth gazed up at his sister sadly. "I don't know what to do..."

Leah looked at him sadly. "It will get better Seth, Embry is right in a way, just give her time. You heard what Bella said though; you were not to blame for what happened. You have to believe that."

Seth was not listening; his eyes were far away reliving the events that led to Jacob's death. He felt Leah's hand on his shoulder. "Come on, we should go..."

XXXXXX

Bella lay back against the couch, her eyes closed. She heard Embry enter the room. "You should go..." she said softly.

Embry perched on the edge of the couch and took her hand. Once again his warm temperature reminded her of Jacob. "I'm not going to leave you alone..." he said huskily.

Bella opened her eyes and looked at him. She saw the determination shining in his eyes. "If you're staying promise me that you won't lecture me about eating..."

Embry squeezed her hand. "I promise. I won't even talk if you don't want me to..."

"Thanks..." Bella gave him a wan smile, before closing her eyes again. She soon fell asleep, her dreams filled with Jacob. Embry sat beside her, still holding her hand as he thought about his lost friend.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! I don't know if I will continue this, it depends really on whether anyone wants to read more. Nikki **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Two-Learning to Forgive...**

Bella carried the flowers loosely in her hands. Petals trailed after her as the wind blew wildly around her. She pulled the hood of her thick coat up as a light rain began to fall. As she approached Jacob's grave she saw a figure kneeling in front of the small headstone. She peered over straining her eyes. Who was it? She edged closer, trying to keep as quiet as possible so as not to startle the person. It was clearly a male, one of the pack, but which one? Like her he had the hood of his jacket pulled up to keep the rain off of his head. The wind was blowing her scent in the opposite direction so she managed to remain undetected. Whoever it was seemed oblivious to her presence. She tiptoed closer until she managed to get a better view and as she caught sight of the young man's face her eyes widened in shock.

"Seth..." she whispered. Now that she was closer she could hear him crying. He was bent over double holding his arms around his middle and rocking back and forth on his knees.

"I am so sorry, Jake. It should have been me...I wish it had been me..." Seth kept repeating the same phrase over and over. Bella felt the familiar tracks of tears begin to wash down her cheeks as she listened to Seth's desperate cries. She couldn't stand to hear him so distraught.

"Seth..." she called over to him. She heard him gasp as he whipped his head around and stared at her in shock.

"Bella..." he whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't...I...I'll go..."

"Seth wait," Bella stumbled her way over to him as he began to back away.

Seth felt his breathing become erratic as he saw her approach him. He didn't know what to do or say. He had destroyed two lives through his impetuousness. Jacob was lying cold in the ground because of him and Bella was wasting away as she grieved for the only man she had ever truly loved. He felt like a monster. Now once again he had unwittingly managed to cause trouble again. He had not known that she was coming to visit Jacob today. He had been trying to keep a low profile and spare everyone having to see him. He had messed up again. As Bella finally reached him and looked up at him with her soulful brown eyes, he shrank away from her.

"Seth, its okay..." Bella felt her heart hurt at the desperation in the boy's eyes. He appeared so broken. His unhappiness eclipsed her own and, for the first time in an age, Bella was aware of someone's grief other than her own. She tentatively reached out for his hand, worried that he would bolt if she touched him. As she wrapped her cold hand around his warm one she could feel the shudder that ran through his body.

"I didn't know that you were coming today. I'm sorry..."Seth whispered again. He was staring at her hand in his. He couldn't understand how she could bear to touch him. He hated himself and expected her to as well.

Bella bit her lip to stop it trembling; the rain was coming down harder, coating her eyelashes and obscuring her vision. She wanted to be able to reassure Seth that it was okay, she couldn't bear to see him like this. He was tearing himself apart for no reason. She released his hand and clutched the flowers to her chest. "I just want to put these on his grave, Seth. Wait for me here I will be back in a moment. I think it's time we had a talk..." she said softly.

Seth nodded his head mutely. He watched as she took his former place and knelt down in front of Jacob's grave. She cleared up the flowers that were slowly wilting and replaced them with her fresh ones. He saw her touch the headstone briefly and then close her eyes as she murmured something. Seth could hear every word with his sensitive hearing and he cringed, this was a private moment and he was an intruder.

"I love you, Jake. I miss you so much. I see you in my dreams sweetheart, every night." She murmured. "Wait for me there tonight..." Bella kissed the flowers and then placed them back on his grave.

The rain began to lash down harder and Bella gave a sad sigh as she stood back up. She whispered goodbye and then went to rejoin Seth who was still staring at her with dull eyes.

"Come on, my truck is parked nearby. I will give you a lift home..." Bella took his hand again and led him away.

XXXXXX

Embry slammed the hood of his pick up shut and wiped his hands on a greasy rag. The damn truck was old and he was finding it hard to keep it running, but he had no choice but to try and patch it up. Lack of money was a big issue. The scraps of work he managed to rustle up hardly covered the bills. His mom had lost her job and they were practically living hand to mouth. He felt anger welling up in him, he was supposed to have accompanied Bella today to visit Jake's grave and instead he had to fix up this old monstrosity. The engine had died on him as soon as he had started her up. It needed to be fixed straight away. He had called Bella up and told her the situation, and as she always was she was very understanding. He made her promise not to go without him, but he knew Bella well. She was probably sitting at Jake's graveside right now crying her eyes out and he was not there to comfort her.

"You better work..." he muttered to himself as he swung the door open and turned the key. The old engine rumbled to life and he breathed a sigh of relief. Embry began to back out of the drive and headed out to Jacob's grave to find Bella.

XXXXXX

Seth and Bella sat in the cab of the Chevy, drying off. The rain was still lashing down and the droplets ran down the windscreen. Their breaths misted in the air as the weather turned colder. "I never expected it to turn out as bad as this..." Bella said, trying to break the tense silence between them.

Seth fidgeted nervously. He gave her a shy glance, not sure how to respond. Bella turned and gave him a wan smile. "It's okay Seth, stop fretting. Talk to me..." she tried again.

"I don't know how..." He admitted forlornly. He looked at his hands twisted in his lap. He sounded every inch the sixteen year old boy that he was. The irony that he looked so much older was not lost on Bella, he like the others, had to grow up so fast. Their normal teenage years had been lost.

Bella reached out and untangled his hands. She took them in her own and gazed at him imploringly. "I heard what you were saying to Jake. Please Seth, you are not to blame for what happened. I never blamed you. You do not need my forgiveness, you have to forgive yourself."

Seth finally met her eyes. "I relive it in my dreams every night, Bella. I am afraid to go to sleep. I can't talk to anyone. Lee tries her best but she is suffering herself. All the pack are. The others don't mention it but I can see the blame in their eyes, especially Embry and Quil. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do..." his last words came out in a choked cry as his emotions overwhelmed him.

Bella couldn't bear his anguish; she did the only thing she knew to do. She slipped her arms around him and held him as he began to cry, finally releasing the guilt he had been wearing like a shroud.

That is how Embry found them...

XXXXXX

Embry sat with Bella on the back porch of the Swan house. The bad weather had finally let up and the sky was clear. They both had steaming mugs of hot soup in their hands as they looked up at the clouds.

"Do you think he will be alright?" Bella asked Embry quietly.

He turned to look at her. "I think so, what you did for him really helped. I should be the one apologising. I have treated him harshly, I never realised how close to the edge he was..." he admitted guiltily.

"It's been hard on us all, Jake was your best friend, you were bound to feel the way you did but Seth is a sixteen year old kid despite how old he appears." She chided him gently.

Embry gave her a small smile. "Jake always said that you were wise..."

A pained look crossed Bella's face. "Jake was the wise one. He knew me inside and out and loved me despite my faults."

"You are wrong, Bells..." Embry knew he had overstepped the mark when he saw her stiffen at the mention of Jacob's special name for her.

"Don't call me that..." she mumbled.

"I'm sorry it just slipped out. I don't know why I said it...I am an idiot." Embry tried to reach for her hand but she edged away from him.

"I am feeling tired now. It's been a long day..." Bella said dully.

Embry swallowed down the lump in his throat. He could see her cutting him off. "I'll see you tomorrow then..."

Bella rose from her seat, drinking down the last of her soup. "I don't want to take up too much of your time, Embry. Thanks for looking out for me but I will be okay." She rebuffed him.

Embry felt uncharacteristic anger well up in him. He stood up and caught hold of her arm, turning her to face him. "Why are you shutting me out like this? I said I was sorry."

Bella tried to yank her arm out of his hold but he wouldn't let her go. She glared up at him. "Let me go..."

"No,"

"Embry...don't push me..."

"I refuse to let you push me away. I want to be there for you, Bella." He pleaded with her.

Bella took a deep breath before answering. It had shaken her hearing someone else call her Bells. Only Jake and her dad were allowed that privilege. "I am not pushing you away, okay. It has just been an emotional couple of days. I won't be here tomorrow; I am going to spend the day with Billy. My dad has to go back to work and is worried about leaving him alone for the day. He is not coping well."

"All the more reason you need me there. I can help you with him..." Embry kept pushing.

"You are not going to take no for an answer are you?" Bella finally gave in.

"No..." Embry released his hold on her arm; he could sense Bella was conceding defeat.

"You are as stubborn as Jake." She shook her head before turning and heading back into the house. Embry watched her go, the mention of his best friend making him wince.

XXXXXX

That night Bella lay in her bed and closed her eyes. Just as she knew she would Jacob appeared in her dreams. A smile lit up her face as she pictured herself running toward him. A soft sigh escaped her lips as his warm, strong arms engulfed her in a bear hug as he whirled her round and round until they were both dizzy...

"My Jacob..." she whispered in her sleep.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Three-One Step Forward and Two Steps Back**

Quil leaned against the hood of Embry's pickup truck as he watched his friend load up his tools. "I thought we could hang out today Embry. I haven't seen much of you since the funeral."

"I can't Quil, I already told you I am stopping by Billy's today to keep Bells company while she looks out for him...I thought I could do some odd jobs around the house while I am there. Now Jake is gone Billy needs help to maintain the house..." Embry chucked the last of his tools in the back of the truck.

"Why did you call her Bells? I have never heard you refer to Bella by that name before..." Quil frowned and regarded his friend carefully.

Embry froze. "Did I? Just a slip of the tongue that's all..." he tried to brush it off but Quil wasn't fooled.

"You have been spending a lot of time with her lately. Maybe I can come over too today, lend you a hand with those repairs..." Quil suggested.

"Nah, dude, I'll be fine..." Embry tried to appear nonchalant.

"I really think I should come..." Quil insisted.

"Why?" Embry demanded irritably. "Bella feels overwhelmed when she is surrounded by too many people, maybe another time."

"Don't bullshit me Embry; I know you too well remember. It's written all over your face. You are still in love with her. You have been since we first saw her in Jake's garage..." Quil stated bluntly.

"Shut it Quil," Embry shot back fiercely. "You're talking out of your ass..."

"No I'm not. I admit I had a bit of a crush on her when we first met but you..." Quil shook his head, a sad expression on his face. "Embry she is Jake's girl and always will be, I think you should stay away."

Embry slammed the door of the pickup shut, startling Quil. "This is none of your business, so stay out of it."

Quil did not back down. He stared Embry down. "You have not even looked at another girl since you first saw her. You were good at hiding it from the rest of the pack and Jake, although sometimes I am sure he suspected, but I have always known. Bella is still in a fragile state, if you are not supporting her with the best intentions then you need to back off before you both get hurt."

Embry dropped his gaze to the floor; his breathing became erratic at the thought of staying away. He couldn't do it. Bella needed his support. What he felt was irrelevant, Quil was wrong, he was being a supportive friend and that was all. This rationalization calmed him down; he glanced back up at Quil. "Maybe you should sort out your own life before you interfere in other peoples." He said coldly. He saw his friend flinch and he felt a smidgeon of guilt; however he was sick of other people interfering. "Just back off Quil, that's all I am saying."

Embry climbed into his truck and started the engine; he did not look back at Quil as he pulled away.

XXXXXX

Bella was feeling exhausted. Billy was being stubborn and refusing to take his meds. When she had first arrived she had been shocked at the state of him. Her dad had not been exaggerating when he said that Billy was not coping. He appeared gaunt and he obviously was not looking after himself properly. He had not shaved in weeks and his long, greying hair was a tangled mess.

"Please, you need to take your insulin, Billy. You know that it is vital..." Bella pleaded with him.

"I will take it when I am ready..." Billy yelled at her, pushing the medication to one side.

Bella took a few deep breaths to calm herself. He was being infuriating and utterly selfish. Her grief at the loss of Jacob overwhelmed her and she found her temper rising. "You are being a selfish old fool. Think of Jake and how he would feel if he saw you acting like this..." she shouted back at him.

"What does it matter? He is gone, everyone I love is gone. Why am I here still clinging to this life when Jake and my Sarah are lost..." Billy's voice cracked at the end and he hid his face in his hands, hiding his tears. "Even my daughter's cannot bear to be near me..."

Bella's anger drained away and she felt tiredness creep up on her. She wanted to go over and comfort Billy, she tried to make herself rise from her chair but her limbs refused to obey her. The truth was she was sick of it. Sick of the constant crying, sick of shoring everybody else up, yesterday it had been Seth, today it was Billy. She slumped back in the chair and regarded him sadly. "I can't make you do anything, Billy. It's your choice."

"Yes it is..." Billy mumbled. He turned his wheelchair around and headed back to his room, slamming the door. Bella closed her eyes and began to cry.

XXXXXX

Embry parked his truck next to Bella's Chevy. He didn't go straight in though; his mind was whirling with Quil's accusations. He stared out of the windscreen trying to sort through his feelings. There was truth in what his friend had pointed out, he was in love with Bella, and he had been for ages. He had never denied that fact to himself. He was pissed that his friend thought he was taking advantage of the situation now that Jake was gone. Nothing could be further from the truth, his intentions were honourable. All he was doing was being a supportive friend. He was very much aware of how fragile Bella was. He shrugged his shoulders and dismissed Quil from his mind. Bella needed him and that was all that mattered.

He opened the door to the Black house and entered quietly. As soon as he slipped down the hallway he heard weeping. Bella was crying again. Embry ran into the living room and his heart constricted as he saw her curled up on the couch, sobbing. He strode over to her and pulled her into his arms. Bella clutched onto him like a woman drowning.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

"I can't take anymore. I have tried so hard to get past this but I can't. I miss Jake so much and I am just letting him down at every turn." She buried her face in Embry's shoulder as he embraced her gently.

"You are not letting him down. Why do you think that?" Embry asked.

"Billy needs help and I tried but I lost my temper with him. He is so distraught and I should have been more understanding. He needs to take his meds but he refuses. I don't know how to get through to him..." Bella admitted, fresh tears ran down her face.

"I'll talk to him," Embry rubbed soothing circles on her back with his warm hand. Her whole body was shaking with her sobs. "This is not your fault Bella. Billy can be stubborn and he is punishing himself."

Bella's weeping began to lessen as she listened to his advice. "I hate putting you in the middle of this Embry..."

"I told you I want to support you, let me be there for you." he whispered huskily.

Bella nodded her head. "Thanks, I don't know what I would do without you."

Embry let out a resigned sigh. As much as he wanted to keep holding her he needed to sort Billy out. He reluctantly let her go and stood up. "I will go and speak to him, make him see sense."

Bella wiped at her eyes. "I really appreciate this Embry." she said again.

He gave her a small smile before turning swiftly and leaving the room.

XXXXXX

He found Billy comatose on his bed, a beer can lying by his side. He felt anger welling up in him that Jacob's father could be so reckless with his health, especially after his son had spent years caring for him. Embry leaned over Billy and shook him awake. "Hey, get up..." he said harshly.

Billy let out a groan before his eyelids fluttered open. "What do you want?"

"You need to take your meds..." Embry stated bluntly as he pulled Billy into an upright position.

"Leave me in peace..." Billy pushed Embry's hands away.

"I wish I could but I happen to care about you, just like that girl out there who has been sobbing her heart out with worry over you."

A remorseful expression crossed Billy's face as Embry mentioned Bella. "I never meant to upset her..." He said mournfully.

"Well you have, the best way to make it up to her is to take your insulin and put her mind at ease." Embry tried to keep the impatience out of his voice.

All the fight left Billy as he nodded. "I let Jake down," he said sorrowfully.

"He would understand, but he would also want you to look after Bella..." Embry advised. He helped the older man into his wheelchair.

This statement seemed to pierce Billy's melancholy as he gave a brief nod. "Yes, I need to look after Bella. Jake would have wanted that."

Embry just nodded as he pushed Billy out of his room and back into the living room.

XXXXXX

Bella allowed Embry to drive her home. She was physically and mentally exhausted. Embry's talk with Billy seemed to have pulled the man out of his stupor as he quietly took his meds and went off to have a shave. He looked much better after being cleaned up. He had apologised to Bella and began to talk with her about his son. It had been hard for her to hear about Jacob, she was still struggling on a daily basis to get up in the morning and carry on without him. He visited her dreams every night and she despaired when she woke up and had to recall that he was really gone. Putting on a front was taking its toll. Bella was not getting better, she was just pretending to.

Embry pulled into the driveway of the Swan house and killed the engine. The resulting silence was deafening. Bella made no attempt to get out of the Chevy; she just remained in her seat, staring out into the night.

"Bella are you okay?" Embry asked her cautiously.

"I don't know..." she confessed. "I thought I could handle it, but I have been lying to myself."

Embry reached out and took her hand in his. "You are not alone. I am here for you."

Bella turned her head and gazed at him with her soulful brown eyes. "You always think that you will have that person in your life lying next you, breathing, keeping you warm. I dream of Jake every night, Embry. It feels so real and then when I wake up I am alone again and have to relive that I have lost him and that I will never be able to tell him I love him ever again, or kiss his mouth or touch his warm skin. I don't want to wake up anymore; I just can't beat it..."

Bella's confession made Embry's heart stutter with fear. He had thought she had been coping, the way she had handled Seth the day before had made him think that she was getting better. But her admission had put paid to that. Her words scared him...

"Bella, I can never be Jake. I am just me..." he said desperately. "I can understand how alone you feel right now, but you're not. I am here and I couldn't handle it if anything happened to you." He declared placing her hand over his heart.

Bella felt the rapid beat of his heart under her fingertips; she splayed her fingers over his chest and counted the beats in her head. Somehow feeling how alive he was pierced her melancholy. She stared up at him through her tired eyes. "Help me..." she begged.

Embry nodded his head as he embraced her gently and held her together like Jake used to do.

_**A/N-Sorry for another sad chapter, do you all think I should continue? I am really not sure...thanks for reading! Nikki **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-Thanks everyone for all the lovely feedback you left on the last chapter. I have been struggling with this story but all of your wonderful suggestions and ideas have kept me motivated. Nikki :)**_

**Part Four-Time Passes**

Spring turned into summer as the months slowly dragged by. Bella had good days and bad days. Some mornings she woke up feeling okay, then some incident or reminder of Jacob would bring her crashing down and she would hide away, refusing to see anyone, even Embry. He had been a constant in her life since the night she had begged for his help. His patience and support had been instrumental in keeping Bella on an even keel. Leah too had become a firm friend, something that Bella would never have envisioned when Jake was alive. Back then the two females always seemed to clash and generally avoided each other. Grief had brought them together; Leah knew what it felt like to lose someone you loved.

Bella woke up one morning and looked at the calendar hanging on her bedroom wall. Each day that had passed was marked with a red cross, a reminder just how long she had lived without her Jacob. She was startled to realise that six months had passed. She sat back on her bed and contemplated the last few months. It all seemed like a blur to her, she had been drifting through each day waiting to go back to sleep so she could seek Jacob in her dreams. Her dad and the others had been gently coaxing her to make some plans. College was out of the question, she refused to leave Forks. In the end she had agreed to go back to work. Mrs Newton had kindly agreed to give Bella her old job back and so she once again had something to occupy her when she was not at home or with Embry or Leah.

She stood and picked up the red marker pen, her hand shook as she marked another cross on the calendar. Her eyes than wandered over to the picture that she had on her bedside cabinet of her and Jacob, the corners of her mouth lifted as she gazed at his happy grin as he embraced her from behind. She studied her own face in the photo; she seemed so radiant that she was glowing. That had been all down to him. Bella picked up the photo and kissed his face, her fingers gently running over the metal frame.

"I love you Jake..." she whispered, tears leaking out of her eyes.

XXXXXX

The door to Newton's Outfitters pinged as the bell rang. Bella swiftly shoved her magazine under the cash register. It had been a slow shift, hardly any customers all day. It was a welcome relief to hear someone enter the shop, her mood brightened even further when she saw Seth stroll over to her. He gave her a shy smile as he approached his hands in his pockets. He was taller than ever now, he matched Jake in height and towered over the other members of the pack.

"Hey birthday boy..." she greeted him.

Seth gave her another sweet smile. "I feel old..."

"If you feel old at seventeen that makes me a pensioner..." Bella teased him gently.

Seth dropped his eyes to the floor. "I didn't mean that. You're not old...I mean you don't look..." he stumbled over his words.

"Chill Seth, I was just playing..." Bella said gently.

Seth finally looked up at her again. His expression turned serious as he stared at her. "You're beautiful Bella, that was what I was trying to say."

Bella had not been expecting that, her cheeks flushed red and she tore her eyes away from him and fiddled with some paperwork lying next to the till. She tried to think of something to say. "I thought you would be out celebrating your birthday. Why are you here?" She asked him eventually.

Seth just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't feel like celebrating you know. I am having dinner with my family later. I was wondering, would you like to come?"

Bella gave him a wan smile. "Leah already invited me..." she admitted.

"Oh...well awesome, it will be better if you're there..." Seth flashed another sweet smile. "Bella I just want to say thanks..."

"For what?" She asked curiously.

"For being there the last few months. I don't know what I would have done without your support..." He gazed at her from under his long eyelashes.

"That's okay, Seth. You helped me too..." She admitted. Bella reflected on all their secret meetings over the last few months. Since that day at Jake's graveside when Seth had opened up to her they had been meeting up just to talk. They had kept it from the others as the pack was still fractured. On the surface they seemed to be getting along but underneath there was still resentment between Quil, Embry and Seth. Bella had broached the subject with Embry on numerous occasions but he always shut the conversation down, refusing to discuss it. Seth was feeling increasingly alienated and this led him to seek out the one person who understood and that was Bella. It had not been agreed out loud, but neither of them mentioned their talks to anyone else for fear of causing upset.

When Bella started working back at Newton's again Seth would drop by on most days that she was there and if business was slow they would share a drink and just talk, not just about Jake but how each of them was feeling that particular day. Seth's visits had become such a regular occurrence that Bella missed him when he couldn't make it because of school or some pack meeting.

Seth leaned on the counter and smiled at Bella. "So how has your day been?" He enquired.

"Slow...hardly any customers." She grouched.

"That's not what I mean..." Seth said earnestly. "How have you really been?"

Bella sighed; she pushed her hair away from her face and gazed at him sadly. "I looked at the calendar today. It has already been six months since we lost Jake. I cannot even remember what has happened during that time, it feels like it happened yesterday and hurts just as much." she confessed.

"I know. I can't believe it either. I wake up each day hoping that it was all just a nightmare and Jake is still here..." Seth reached for Bella's hand and held onto it tightly. "I had to blow out the candles on the cake that Lee made for me this morning. I kept my eyes closed for ages, wishing before I blew out the candles..."

"If only life worked like that..." Bella felt her heart getting heavy. She gave his hand a quick squeeze before releasing it. "Who else will be at the dinner tonight?"

"Just you, me, my mom and Lee..." Seth replied quickly.

Bella felt irritated that the pack were totally ignoring Seth's birthday, it was not fair. She couldn't believe that all these months later they were all still fractured. Sam had once again resumed his mantle as Alpha; unfortunately he was constantly clashing with Leah. They argued and fought about everything, both refusing to admit the real reason why they were butting heads. Embry had admitted to her that they all knew that Sam still loved Leah; he was always able to hide his thoughts in the past but with Leah in his head every day he had been slipping. Bella had broached the subject with Seth's sister but she had refused to even discuss it, citing that it was in the past. Bella was not fooled, the light in Leah's eyes when Sam was mentioned was proof enough that she had not moved on. Everything was such a mess.

"Well I look forward to eating that cake."Bella said eventually.

Seth grinned. "Lee made it. She opened the oven too soon, the middle sank. She tried to hide it by stuffing a load of icing on top. I have to say it is one of a kind..."

Bella liked seeing Seth grin, it was so rare. The happy kid she remembered had been replaced by a serious and often melancholy young man. Once again she felt angry that his so called brothers were not supporting him as they should. She vowed to talk to Embry again and make him try and let go of the past.

"Well I look forward to seeing it," she said softly. "Happy birthday, Seth..."

Seth stared at her intently, an unreadable expression in his eyes. "Thanks Bella..."

Bella's cheeks flushed red again as he continued to look at her. She coughed nervously and dropped her eyes. "Well I better get back to work, don't want Mrs Newton thinking I am slacking..." she joked lamely.

Seth tore his eyes away from her and nodded. "Yeah of course...I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, see you later, Seth." Bella gave him a small wave as he reluctantly left the shop and headed for home.

XXXXXX

Embry was waiting for Bella as she finished work at six o'clock. She had planned to head straight home, change and then leave for the Clearwater's. "Hey you, I thought you were busy today. Didn't you have that building job for Mr Murphy to finish?" she questioned him.

"Quil and I managed to finish up early. Having super strength comes in handy; we finished the job ahead of schedule. Old man Murphy was so impressed that he offered us more building work fixing up his barn..." he said happily.

Bella smiled in delight. She gave him a quick hug. "That's great news Embry. Word of mouth is the best advertising. Murphy has a lot of influence around these parts, with him on your side I bet the work will flood in..."

Embry nodded eagerly. "I hope so..." he pulled her in for another hug, resting his head on top of hers. "I thought we could go out tonight for a meal to celebrate. I'll pay..."

Bella winced; she was due at the Clearwater's to celebrate Seth's birthday. "I can't tonight, sorry Embry..."

Embry frowned. "Why?"

"I'm going over to Leah's tonight; she invited me as its Seth's birthday..." Bella admitted in a rush.

"And you're going?" Embry questioned disbelievingly.

"Yes I am going. You should come too, maybe clear the air a little..." she suggested.

Embry stepped away from her and crossed his arms. "I don't think that would be a good idea..." he said mulishly.

"You are so stubborn..." Bella shot back in annoyance. "I am sick of this tension in the air. You told me once that you would lay off Seth but you are still harbouring a grudge..."

"I am doing the best that I can..." Embry battled to keep his anger under control. He was sick of hearing about Seth; he was hurt that she was choosing to spend the evening with the Clearwater's when he had asked her to celebrate with him.

Bella looked up at him sadly. She was tired of all the division within the pack. "It's his birthday Embry; can't you try and make an effort?" She tried again.

Embry shook his head. "I just can't...look I am sure they would all understand if you told them you had other plans. Please this is really good news for me. "He pleaded with her.

"I know and any other day I would have gladly celebrated with you, but I have made other plans. It's your choice whether you come with me or not. I have to go..." Bella turned away from him and began to walk toward her truck.

Embry watched her go, his stomach was churning. He hadn't expected her to remain so steadfast, he was so sure that she would change her mind. His irrational anger at Seth increased; he felt betrayed that Bella would rather spend her time with the one who he deemed responsible for his friend's death. He saw her reach the Chevy, open the door and climb in. He only had seconds before she drove away. As much as he hated the thought of it Embry began to run over to her. He would rather be with her and make sure that Seth was kept at a distance than spend the evening alone wondering what was going on. He ran over to the truck just as she started the engine.

"Hey look I'm sorry. I'll come alright..." he yelled out to her.

Bella pushed open the passenger door and he climbed in easily. "Seth will be glad that you are coming..." she said in relief, she hated fighting with Embry.

Embry kept his true feelings hidden as he gave her a small smile. "Yeah..." he agreed quietly.

Bella gave him a grateful smile as she began to drive out of the car park. She felt hopeful that Embry was finally going to be able to forgive Seth...

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Five-Tension**

Seth opened the door to see Bella standing holding a wrapped present, he gave her a happy grin and was just about to give her a hug when he spotted Embry approaching. Confusion showed in his eyes as he flicked his gaze between Bella and Embry, his arms dropping to his sides. Bella saw the grin fade from his face and she gave out a small sigh.

"Embry has come to celebrate your birthday with you too..." She said, trying to sound cheerful.

Seth swallowed the bile down in his throat as he locked eyes with Embry. "Great..." he replied faintly.

Embry did not smile; he just stood closer to Bella and nodded his head at Seth. "Happy birthday..." his voice was cold.

Bella felt her temper rising at the obvious tension in the air. She glared up at Embry who remained stoical. She felt like making a biting comment but it was Seth's birthday, she needed to keep her cool. Bella was regretting asking Embry to accompany her; it had been a bad idea. She held out the present and stood on her tiptoes to kiss Seth on the cheek. "Happy birthday Seth," she said softly.

Embry stiffened when he saw Bella kiss Seth on the cheek. His hand reached out automatically and caught hold of hers, pulling her back by his side. He gave Seth a warning glare and smirked when he saw Seth flinch. Bella did not see this exchange; she pulled her hand out of Embry's and entered the house seeking out Leah. She needed some female company. She found Seth's sister in the kitchen poking at the cake.

"Hey Lee, so this is the famous birthday cake that Seth was praising earlier today." She teased.

Leah gave her a dubious look. "Very funny Swan, I should have got you to make it."

Bella smiled. "It was made with love, Lee and that makes it a much better cake than I could ever have made."

Leah rolled her eyes and laughed. "You are so full of bullshit, girl..."

"I try..." Bella giggled glad to be free of the earlier tension.

"You will be happy to know that mom cooked up the dinner, otherwise we would have been eating burnt offerings." Leah prodded the cake again and made a hole in the icing. Bella reached out and took a swipe of the icing and licked her finger.

"That's lovely..." she said as she took another glob of icing.

Leah batted her hand away and was just about to issue a retort when Seth, followed by Embry, entered the room. Her eyes widened as she looked at Embry. "What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded. "I never invited you."

Bella dug Leah in the ribs. "I invited him, Lee. He wanted to wish Seth a happy birthday too."

Leah clenched her teeth together; Bella could be so damn naive. She truly believed that everything could be smoothed over by getting the two boys in the same room. It was meant to be a small family dinner. Leah knew that Embry had only come because Bella was here. She shot Embry a dark look but he just stood next to Bella, not in the least bit intimidated. Sue Clearwater entered the room at this point preventing her daughter from saying anything. She smiled brightly at them all.

"It's great that you are all here, thanks for coming." Her eyes landed on Embry. "Hey we haven't seen you around here for a while..."

Embry flashed her one of his smiles. "I couldn't miss Seth's seventeenth, could I?"

Sue laughed at his fake exuberance. "That's right, my little boy is almost a man...l" she let out a small sigh.

"Mom..." Seth said warningly, feeling embarrassed, especially in front of Bella. His eyes wandered over to her but he caught sight of Embry glaring at him and he shrank back.

Leah was not happy at the way Embry was acting. He was being very territorial around Bella and he was making her poor brother feel uncomfortable in his own home. It was bad enough that he and Quil were constantly cold toward her brother. Their promises of forgiveness had not materialized; she knew they still blamed Seth for the loss of Jake. She saw the pain shining from her brother's eyes and she had twitched, feeling a sudden urge to slap Embry in the face.

Her mom, who was completely unaware of the tension between the two boys, ushered them all into the dining room. She had laid out a buffet and told them all to tuck in. Embry quickly got two plates and began to fill them up for him and Bella.

"I can do that..." she whispered to him as she took one of the plates and proceeded to fill it up.

"I was only trying to..." Embry began to say but she shook her head at him and he stopped speaking.

"You are making Seth feel awkward, either back down or leave..." Bella said softly.

Embry felt a surge of jealousy shoot through him, she was defending Seth again and he hated it. He didn't want to upset her however so he gave her a small smile and promised to behave.

"Thanks Embry," Bella said in relief, she touched his hand briefly before turning back to fill up her plate.

XXXXXX

The evening wore on slowly and the atmosphere was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. Even Sue began to sense the tension in the air, Seth was practically mute. Bella and Leah were filling the awkward silences with uneasy chatter while Embry just kept glaring at her son. She had no idea what was creating this awful atmosphere. Embry and Seth were brothers; Sue had no idea that Embry blamed her son for the loss of Jacob Black. Leah and Seth had kept it from her; they thought she had been through enough with the loss of their dad, Harry.

Leah was getting increasingly tired of Embry's behaviour. She longed to drag him out of the room and give him a piece of her mind. But with her mom there she had to hold back. Bella caught sight of the glass shaking in Leah's hand and she became alarmed, her friend was struggling to control herself. She tried to think of something to diffuse the situation. Her old high school friend, Angela Weber, was coming back from college soon and Bella was hoping to fix her up with Embry. She knew that she had taken up so much of his time that he had not been able to meet any girls. Angela had met him once about a year ago and expressed an interest in him then. However she was leaving for college and nothing had come of it. Maybe now would be a good time to mention it.

"Do you remember Angela Weber? I used to go to school with her..." She glanced around at them all.

"Vaguely, she is the quiet chick with the glasses..." Leah drank the rest of her drink.

"I remember her, she seemed nice..." Seth finally spoke and Bella gave him a grateful smile.

"She is coming back from college soon and well I thought you could show her around Embry, she liked you if I recall..." she said playfully, flashing him a teasing smile.

Sue Clearwater laughed. "Well that would be interesting. Are you up for a bit of female company Embry? You never know she could be the one..."

Embry hardly heard her, his eyes were riveted on Bella. She was staring back at him in confusion; hurt was shining from his dark eyes. "Why would you think I need setting up?"

"I just thought as I have been taking up a lot of your time these last few months that it stopped you meeting anyone. Ange mentioned the last time she was home that she was interested in you and..." her voice trailed off as Embry got up from the table. "Where are you going?"

"Out of here..." Embry stated coldly. He marched from the room, slamming the front door behind him.

Bella immediately rose from the table intending to follow him but Seth stopped her. "I'll go..." he said gently.

"But I didn't mean to upset him; I thought...I don't understand..." Bella's voice quavered.

"Bella let Seth go," Leah interjected. She still couldn't believe how clueless Bella was about Embry's feelings. Tonight had made it glaringly obvious. She had suspected that he was in love with her friend for awhile, his actions had confirmed it.

"Don't worry Bella. I'll sort it out..." Seth promised. He swiftly followed Embry from the room.

XXXXXX

Seth caught up with Embry easily. He hadn't gone far; he was leaning against the hood of Bella's truck staring up into the night sky. As soon as he heard Seth approach his expression darkened. "What the hell do you want, Clearwater?"

Seth flinched at his harsh tone but he did not back down. "I came to check on you. Bella is worried that she might have upset you..."

Embry let out a bitter laugh. "Oh is she...so you act like her knight in shining armour and come out to confront me, huh?"

"No...although you have been acting like a total ass tonight. I know that you hate me but Bella doesn't deserve to get caught up in all this." Seth said calmly.

"Don't you dare to patronise me, Seth. Not everything is about you..." he sneered.

"Really, all night I have had to put up with your dirty looks and sarcastic comments. "Seth felt his anger rising. He had enough of Embry's treatment of him. "I know that you blame me for Jake's death, and your right I am guilty as hell. So go on, hit me...do your worst. I can't feel worse than I already do..."

Embry's limbs began to tremble as he let his irrational jealousy overtake him. "You would just love that, wouldn't you? That would definitely score points with Bella. I am not going to play your game Clearwater..."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Seth yelled back at him. "This is not some pissing contest."

Embry's unhappiness overwhelmed him and he lashed out, hitting Seth hard on the jaw. The younger boy reeled back from the force of the blow. A scream made them both whip around, Bella was standing on the doorstep of the Clearwater's house, she had witnessed Embry hitting Seth. Leah came out followed by Sue.

"Sethy? What has happened here, you're bleeding?" she cried out as she ran over to tend to her son.

"Mom, I am okay..." Seth stepped back from her. The cut on his lip was already healing.

Sue turned to face Embry. "You did this and on his birthday? What is wrong with you?" She yelled.

Leah quickly intervened. She had inherited her quick temper from her mom. Sue Clearwater was legendary for her angry outbursts. "Mom, leave it. Come back inside. You too, Seth." she ordered.

Seth began to protest but something in his sister's voice made him pause. What was he missing? He glanced between Bella and Embry. His pack brother was gazing at Bella, a distraught expression on his face. He studied him more closely, Embry was looking at Bella the way that Jake used to. It finally hit him like a freight train. Embry was in love with her. A feeling he couldn't place welled up in him, he began to walk over to Bella's side but Leah stopped him again.

"No Seth, leave them alone. Embry and Bella need to talk..."

"But she needs me..." Seth protested.

Leah caught hold of his arm. "No, give them some privacy."

Seth battled with himself, he glanced at Bella again. She was still gazing at Embry, a disappointed look in her eyes. He longed to comfort her but the rational part of him knew that Leah was right. He reluctantly followed her advice and went back inside the house leaving Bella and Embry alone...

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	6. Chapter 6

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Six-The Truth Hurts**

Bella stood in the doorway staring across at Embry. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. Kind, caring sweet Embry had just hit Seth. She knew that there were still unresolved issues between them but never in a million years would she have expected this to happen. Embry was gazing back at her, hurt and something indefinable shining in his dark eyes. For a brief moment he reminded her of Jacob, he was wearing the exact same expression that Jake had worn when he confessed his love for her after attempting to kiss her for the first time. It was this thought that finally opened Bella's eyes to the truth.

"No..." she whispered.

"Bella..." Embry said hesitantly, not sure whether to approach her or keep his distance. He cautiously moved toward her but she held out her hand to stop him.

"Don't come near me..." she snapped.

Embry shuddered at the tone of her voice. "Bella, please I know that I shouldn't have hit Seth that was so wrong. Just let me explain..." he pleaded.

Bella shook her head at him. "Why do you spend so much time with me, Embry?" she asked instead.

He looked at her in confusion. "What? I spend time with you because we're friends and I want to support and be there for you."

"Is that the true reason?" She asked again. Her large chocolate brown eyes studied him carefully.

Embry swallowed nervously. "I don't quite understand what you mean..." he hedged.

"I think you do..." Bella said coldly.

Embry flinched as it dawned on him that she had guessed about how he truly felt about her. His actions tonight had probably made it obvious. He floundered as he tried to think of a way to explain himself and somehow make sure she did not turn away from him. The tension grew as he became tongue tied, not sure how to dig himself out of the situation. In the end he decided to go with the simple truth. He raised his head and looked her directly in the eyes.

"I am in love with you..." he said softly.

Bella gasped as he confirmed out loud what she suspected. Her hands shook as she ran them through her hair. She tore her eyes away from his and began to pace up and down the Clearwater's porch. "How long have you felt like this? Is this a recent development?" She demanded.

Embry took a deep breath before answering. "No, it's not a recent development. I have been in love with you since the first time I saw you in Jake's garage that day when you were fixing up the bikes." he said honestly.

Bella stopped pacing and stared at him in shock. "You can't be serious."

"I am, Bella. I know that you don't want to hear it and believe me I have tried to hide it, but the more time we have spent together, the more in love with you I am. I can't help it. I know that you are not at the right place in your life to hear this, I understand. You must believe me that I had no ulterior motive when I began spending so much time with you, my only intention was to support and look out for you as a friend." He gazed back at her imploringly, begging her with his eyes to believe him.

Bella couldn't take the intensity of his feelings. She felt betrayed, she thought that they were friends and that is all. She backed away from him, easy tears leaking out of her eyes. "You need to stay away from me Embry...I think it best if we keep our distance from each other from now on..." she whispered.

"Bella, please don't do this..."Embry ran toward her and caught hold of her upper arms, turning her to face him. "Don't turn away from me..."

Bella pushed against him until he released her. Once again he reminded her of Jake when he had kissed her when she was not ready for it. She dropped her eyes to the floor, feeling emotionally overwhelmed by the situation. Thinking of Jake brought her grief back full force and she began to shut down again, just like she had when she first learned of his death. She stepped back from Embry, her eyes darting away from him.

"I need you to leave me alone..." she said dully before turning on her heel and disappearing into the house.

Embry watched her go in despair, his chest heaving as he took in deep breaths as he tried to control his whirling emotions. This just couldn't be happening...he felt wetness on his cheeks, he hadn't even realized he had been crying. "Bella..." he said hoarsely. "Don't leave me..."

She did not come back out of the house and Embry could no longer control himself. He turned swiftly and headed for the trees, his outline blurring. Pieces of his clothing flew through the air as he phased and turned wolf. He fled deep into the forest, running until he was exhausted, feeling completely numb. He collapsed near a small stream, his limbs shivering. The moon was out and as he looked in the swiftly flowing stream he saw its bright reflection in the water. His muzzle went up in the air as he howled out his misery into the night.

XXXXXX

Leah drove Bella back home. Seth had wanted to take her but Leah had argued that Bella needed a female to talk to. Seth had backed down reluctantly. His heart hurt at the sight of Bella, she looked so crestfallen and unhappy. He vowed that he would make her smile again. The highlight of his life was the hours he got to spend with her, just talking and relaxing. He knew that his sister was right and that Bella would probably prefer Leah's company after all the drama between her and Embry. His sensitive hearing had captured everything that had been exchanged between them. His earlier hunch that Embry had feelings for Bella had been proved right. He did not admit it openly to himself but he was glad that Bella had rejected Embry. He sighed as he watched his sister drive the Chevy away from the house; he would call on Bella tomorrow and see how she was then.

XXXXXX

Leah switched off the loud engine and glanced over toward Bella. She was hunched over, her arms crossed against her middle as if she was trying to hold herself together. Leah reached over and yanked her arms apart. "Stop that..." she said, harsher than she intended.

Bella winced and pulled her arm out of Leah's hold. "Thanks for the ride..." she mumbled.

Leah shook her head in irritation. "Are you really going to do this again, girl?" She demanded.

"What do you mean by that?" Bella questioned her eyes moist with unshed tears.

"This whole feeling sorry for yourself crap," Leah threw her hands up in the air as she spoke. "It's getting tiresome."

"I am so sorry to reign on your parade." Bella felt her anger rising. Who was Leah to criticize her? "As I recall you have done nothing but wallow yourself over Sam."

She waited for Leah to erupt but to her surprise the other girl just snorted with laughter. "That's better Swan, it's good to see some fire for once. Look I know that Embry has thrown you a curve ball but seriously it is not the end of the world. Do you want to know what I think?"

Bella found herself emerging from her funk and she actually raised a smile. "I am sure you are going to tell me..." she said eventually.

"I think we need to leave Forks, get away for a couple of weeks. I have never travelled anywhere, how about you and I take a trip to see your mom." Leah suggested.

"Go to Jacksonville?" Bella asked in surprise.

"Yeah, it would do us both good to get away from the boys..." Leah gave her smug smile. "Also I think you need to see your mom. I know that I would not have made it without mine helping me through all the rubbish with Sam."

"Renee is not like Sue..." Bella said dubiously. "She can be like a child a lot of the time."

"It doesn't matter, Bella. A change of scene will do you good and put all this other stuff in perspective. I am not suggesting it just for you. I need to get away too..." Leah confessed.

"Is it that bad between you and Sam?" Bella asked gently.

Leah stared out of the windscreen into the dark night. "He confessed he still loved me last night." She admitted.

"Oh my god, Lee that is huge. How do you feel? I mean what did you say?" She asked.

"I slapped him..."Leah said softly. "Then I walked away."

Bella regarded her friend carefully. Leah was right it would do them both good to get a change of scenery. They both needed to think things through. She caught Leah's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Let's do it. I'll book the tickets tonight and we'll go..."

"Thanks..." Leah whispered as she continued to stare out into the dark night thinking of Sam.

XXXXXX

That night Bella dreamed of Jacob. They were once again on the mountaintop; he stood before her in all his glory, as she begged him to kiss her.

"Kiss me and then come back..." she pleaded with him.

She saw the disbelief in his dark eyes as he hesitated. "Are you serious?" He questioned her.

"Yes..." she said boldly. "I want you to kiss me."

Jacob had not needed any more prompting then that. His warm hands had cupped her cheeks as his lips crashed against hers. Her mouth had melded with his as they kissed wildly, his tongue seeking hers as his hand wound into her hair. Bella's arms encircled his neck as she pulled him closer, she pressed her body to his, soaking in his warmth.

As the kiss intensified Bella again relived her vision that she shared with him. She was once again standing in the tall grass watching the two black haired children, a girl and a boy, run away from her towards the tall, tan figure in the distance. She squinted as she tried to get the blurry outlines of the figure into focus. The vision had been clear before, why was Jake so blurry? Bella saw herself running after the two children calling out their names. The tall male figure had scooped them up in his arms and was laughing joyfully.

"Jake..." she called out loudly, a wide smile on her lips. Her legs pumped hard as she finally reached the children and the man holding them. Her eyes locked on the children's father and as she began to say Jake's name, she stopped stunned. The man holding her children was not Jacob.

The kiss ended and Bella opened her eyes as she stared up at who she had been kissing. The face was familiar and beloved, but it was not Jacob...

Bella's eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed, gasping as she took in deep breaths. What the hell was happening to her? She wiped the sweat off of her brow and glanced at the photo of Jake beside her bed. It had only been a stupid dream, it was not real. Bella felt relieved that she was going to be getting away for a while. Leah's idea was sounding more appealing by the minute. She took hold of Jake's photo and held it against her chest as she lay back down. She closed her eyes again but as she fell into a deep sleep it was not Jake that haunted her dreams.

_**A/N-Are you all still enjoying this story? I hope so...thanks for reading! **_


	7. Chapter 7

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Seven-Taking Control**

Renee, along with Bella's stepfather Phil Turner, picked the girls up from the airport. The change in temperature was a shock to the system for Bella and Leah especially. The sky was too bright and they felt blinded by the sun hanging low in the sky. Leah pushed her sunglasses further up her nose as she watched Renee's enthusiastic greeting as she hugged her daughter and squealed like a little girl. Phil stood to one side, smiling at his wife indulgently. He was a lot younger then Bella's mom, but his whole stance and the way he took charge of their cases made him seem older than Renee.

"Oh, Bella sweetie you are so thin. Your skin is so pale too, you look anaemic." Renee criticized as she studied her daughter. "That hair of yours Bella, it's too long. When are you going to cut it?"

Leah felt a flash of anger toward Bella's mom. There was no how have you been or worry over the tragedy that her daughter had suffered over the last few months with the loss of Jake. She had not even shown up to support her daughter at the funeral. Bella had not been lying when she said her mom was like a child. Leah took a deep breath to reign herself in, it was not her place to confront Renee about her selfish attitude.

"My hair is fine mom. This is Leah by the way..." Bella introduced her.

Renee flashed a childlike smile as she squealed again and gave Leah a hug. Leah was not used to this and she had to exert a lot of control not to shove the woman three feet away from her. "Nice to meet you..." she said coolly.

Renee did not pick up on the coldness; she clapped her hands together in delight. "This is amazing, don't you think Phil? My baby has come home and brought a beauty along with her. Are they all as tall as you on the res?" She tittered as she gazed up at Leah.

"No..." she muttered.

Renee pouted as she finally picked up on Leah's coldness. "I was only asking, wasn't I Phil? "She looked over toward her husband. He gave her a reassuring wink.

"It's okay baby, the girls have had a long journey and are probably tired." He then turned his gaze onto Bella and Leah and gave them an understanding smile.

"Yeah we are..." Bella interjected quickly. She nudged Leah in the side and gestured for her to agree.

"Tired, yeah..." Leah finally agreed.

Renee gave Leah another disapproving look before allowing Phil to tow her away toward the parked rental car. He returned within seconds to retrieve the cases. "You know what your mom can be like Bella. She didn't mean any offence. She has been so looking forward to your visit."

Bella patted Phil on the arm. "I know, thanks for coming to pick us up."

"No problem, after you ladies..." He picked up the cases and waited for them to go first.

Leah liked this Phil character, although she couldn't fathom how he could be so patient with Bella's mom. He must see something that she couldn't. Resolving to make more of an effort for Bella's sake Leah followed her into the car.

XXXXXX

Two days passed as Renee monopolised their time. She had researched a list of interesting places to visit and explore. Leah would have enjoyed it in any other company but she was struggling to hold to her earlier resolve not to lose her temper with Renee. Bella was so patient with her mom and it became clear to Leah just what sort of childhood her friend must have had living with Renee. The woman was flighty, she became upset or stressed at any little problem and it would be Bella who took the adult role and calmed Renee down. Then there was the constant criticism. No wonder Bella had low self esteem. Her mom did nothing but comment on her appearance, she was too thin, her hair was too long and boring brown, why did she not dye it and so it went on. Leah felt like pulling the woman to one side and giving her a piece of her mind. So much for a change of scene and relaxation, no wonder Bella had been reluctant to come.

Phil had been absent much of the time since he had accompanied his wife to pick them up. His job as a baseball player kept him constantly on the move. Renee usually tried to accompany him but lately she had revealed to Bella that he had been making excuses to leave her at home and she was feeling neglected. Not once did Leah hear her ask how her daughter was coping. It made her appreciate Sue a lot more.

On the third day Leah dragged Bella to one side and begged her to get out alone for the day without Renee. Bella had given her a rueful smile and agreed wholeheartedly. "She is driving me crazy..." she had confessed.

"I'm sorry Bella I was wrong to make you come here. You did warn me but I admit I thought you were exaggerating about your mom..." Leah apologised.

Bella just sighed. "Where do you want to go?"

"How about the beach? I miss the sea..." Leah admitted thinking of First beach and the bonfire parties the pack used to have before Jake died.

Bella was picturing the exact same thing. "Okay, we will have to sneak out otherwise mom will dig out her teeny weeny polka dot bikini and want to join us..."

Leah's eyes opened wide. "Seriously she has one of those..."

Bella smiled at her friend's horrified expression. "Oh yes..."

Leah rolled her eyes as they made their plan of escape.

XXXXXX

Embry and Sam sat side by side on the front steps of his house drinking. Cans were littered everywhere but with their werewolf metabolism they were finding it hard to get drunk. Sam drank the last dregs of his beer and chucked it to one side, immediately reaching for another.

"I can't believe she just slapped me..." he said for the hundredth time.

Embry screwed his can up in his hand as he pictured his last talk with Bella. "I would have preferred it if Bella had slapped me...instead she just pushes me away and runs off to Jacksonville..."

"You can bet that was Lee's idea..." Sam grumbled as he turned to hand Embry another beer.

"What did I do that was so wrong, huh? I have never made any sort of move on her, she actually thinks that I had some sort of ulterior motive. I thought she trusted me..." his anger began welling up in him the more he thought about it.

Sam regarded Embry thoughtfully. "Are you sure that your intentions were so pure?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, I would never have made a move. For fucks sake Sam, she was my best friend's girl. That makes me feel guilty about my feelings for a start. I miss Jake just as much as she does, I only ever wanted to be there and support her."

Sam could hear the sincerity in his voice. "I believe you."

Embry popped open his can and took a long drink. "I don't know what to do. I messed up, hitting Seth didn't help, that kid was just riling me up sitting there all pious and..."

"You have to stop blaming Seth for what happened..." Sam interjected. "It was not his fault, they were both outnumbered and we didn't get there in time..."

"Seth disobeyed Jake's orders. He should have stayed hidden..."Embry glared at Sam. "You are only defending him because he is Lee's brother and you want to score points with her."

Sam stood up and stared Embry down. "This has nothing to do with Lee. This is you and Quil harbouring a grudge against an innocent boy because you can't bear the fact that we all hold some of the blame for not being there when they both needed us."

Embry stood up and squared his shoulders. All the alcohol they had drunk was finally having an effect. Embry actually felt a bit tipsy. "We couldn't have got there any sooner..."

Sam ran hand through his short, black hair making it stand up in spikes. "Still that does not stop us all feeling guilty. Seth and Jake were placed in an impossible situation. I can see in your head Embry, your anger is not just about what happened to Jake. You're jealous because Bella always defends Seth and is friendly toward him. You think that she should agree with you..."

Embry refused to answer. Instead he turned the tables on Sam. "What about you? What right do you have to preach to me when your life is such a mess?"

Sam laughed bitterly. "Yeah it is a fucking mess. I finally get rid of the responsibility of being Alpha of the pack when Jake accepts his birthright. As a result the imprint bond I was forced into begins to fade and I finally feel like me again. Then we lose Jake and I am right back where I started, having to take on the role of Alpha. Emily has moved out after finding out about how much I still love Lee, I am actually free again so I tell Leah and all she does is slap me and hightail it off to Florida."

Embry felt guilty for taking out his unhappiness on Sam. He had always had it more difficult then any of them being the first to phase and having to take on responsibility that he was not born for. Then Emily had appeared and destroyed his happiness with Leah because of the imprinting bond. "I am sorry Sam. I am just talking out of my ass, ignore me..."

"You know what I never did when I was overcome by the imprint?" Sam said huskily.

"What?" Embry asked in confusion.

"I never fought hard enough..."

"You had no choice that was taken away from you when Emily decided she wanted you as her lover rather than just a friend..." Embry tried to reassure him.

"No, I was so beaten down back then with all the shit I had gone through, I was feeling weak. I should have fought harder...I am not going to make that mistake again." Sam said determinedly.

Embry gazed at him curiously. "What are you intending to do?"

"I am going to Jacksonville and make Leah listen to me..." Sam announced.

"If you go then I will come with you..."Embry flashed Sam a big grin. "If you can make Leah listen to you then maybe I can get Bella to forgive me..."

Sam smiled back at him. "I have some money saved; it should be enough to spring for two return flights..."

"I'll pay you back..." Embry promised. "I have a lot of work lined up over the next few months."

Sam hit him on the back. "I know you will bro."

Embry leaned down and took two more cans out of the cooler; he chucked one over to Sam. "Here is to taking control of our destiny..." he declared.

"To taking control..." Sam agreed as they clashed their cans together before drinking them down in one go.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	8. Chapter 8

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Eight-Unexpected Visitors**

Embry and Sam felt all eyes on them as they strode purposefully toward the address for Renee's house that they had managed to wheedle out of Bella's dad. They had mentioned that they wanted to surprise the girls while they were away. Luckily it appeared that Bella had not divulged anything about the argument she had with Embry the night of Seth's birthday, so Charlie was happy to comply. He liked Embry and knew what a good friend he had been to his daughter since Jake's passing.

A loud whistle made them turn their heads and they saw two girls, who were riding bikes, giving them suggestive looks. The taller of the two girls braked and flipped her long, blonde hair over her shoulder as she called out to them. "You look lost. I could show you around if you want?" She suggested.

Her companion nodded eagerly in agreement. Her eyes were riveted on Embry as she watched the play of his muscles under his t-shirt. Both of them were dressed in t-shirts and shorts, pretty much what they wore at home as the temperature never affected them. Sam pulled his sunglasses off and glanced at the two girls uninterestedly. The blonde edged nearer, flashing him a wide smile.

"Do you know where Riverside Edge is?" Sam asked lazily.

The blonde's friend finally piped up. "Yeah, it's just two blocks down. We'll show you..."

Embry gave an exasperated sigh and shook his head. "No thanks go bother someone else..."

Sam snorted with laughter as he watched red spots appear on the blonde's cheeks. She gave him a dirty look before speeding off on her bike, her friend following swiftly behind. Embry watched them go nonchalantly. "Come on lets go we've wasted enough time..."

Sam's humour faded as he thought about what type of greeting he was going to get from Leah. He was beginning to question his idea about coming over to Florida to confront the two girls. It felt like a good idea at the time, but now he was wondering whether he should have respected Leah's need for space and waited for her return. He shot a glance at Embry who had increased his pace in his eagerness to reach the house. "Em, do you think we're doing the right thing?"

Embry shot him a confused glance. "This was your idea bro."

"I know, but..."

"Look, we're here now. I need to see that Bella is alright." Embry replied earnestly. "Stop stressing..."

Sam shrugged his shoulders. He followed Embry as they finally reached the turning for Riverside Edge.

XXXXXX

Bella and Leah lay back on the beach enjoying the sunshine. Bella was covered in a high factor sunscreen; her skin was prone to burning. Leah had helped to lather it on until catcalls and whistles from the surfer boys who were catching the waves made her hurl the bottle at their heads.

"Asses..." she had grouched.

"Well done Lee that was my only bottle..." Bella gave a resigned sigh. She felt uncomfortable in the yellow bikini that she was wearing. She hated showing so much skin, not being that confident in her body. Leah looked like a tan goddess in her red bikini.

Leah watched as Bella kept pulling up the bikini bottoms and fiddling with the straps. She took her by the shoulders and made her look at her. "Stop it Bella, you look great. Just relax."

"I just feel so exposed," Bella complained. "If I had your looks I wouldn't worry but..."

Leah cursed Renee in her head. Bella's mom's constant criticism of her daughter's looks had worn Bella's fragile confidence down. For the last three days they had both managed to avoid Renee and escape to the beach for some peace. On the first day Bella had covered herself up in a conservative black swimsuit. It had taken Leah an age to get her friend to put on the bikini that she had bought before the trip. Bella had only complied when she saw what the other girls on the beach were wearing. Luckily for them Phil had returned from his away trip and was occupying his wife which allowed them to leave the house without too much fuss.

Bella had her nose buried in one of her romantic novels while Leah lay supine on her beach towel soaking up the rays. A shower of sand suddenly sprayed over the two girls startling them. Bella let out a startled shriek while Leah sat up, brushing the sand from her hair, staring around to see who was responsible. Her eyes strayed to two sheepish looking young men, obviously newly arrived tourists if their white skin was anything to go by. They were dressed in t-shirts and baggy beach shorts, the habitual sunglasses covering their eyes.

"Watch where you're going douches..." Leah yelled at them as she continued to brush the sand off of her skin.

The two men exchanged glances and then approached them cautiously. "Sorry, Mark tripped and unfortunately the sand landed over you. It was an accident. I'm Danny by the way, nice to meet you." The man's accent revealed him to be English.

Bella gave them both a shy smile as she shook the sand from her hair. "It's okay, no harm done."

The one revealed as Mark gave her a big grin and he held out his hand for her to shake. "Thanks. I have a habit of tripping I'm afraid."

Bella took his hand and shook it quickly. "I can relate to that..." she admitted.

Danny regarded a scowling Leah coolly. "How about we buy you girl's a drink to make up for it, huh" he suggested. His eyes raked over Leah showing his obvious interest.

Bella was just about to refuse when Leah took the wind out of her sails by agreeing. "Good idea...I feel thirsty."

"Great," Danny held out his hand to help Leah up but she batted it away.

"I don't need your help..." she stood up gracefully and began shoving her towel in the beach bag.

Bella was not happy with the situation but she could hardly protest in front of the men. She let Mark help her up and she passed Leah her book to put away.

"Ready to go then?" Danny checked with Leah. She nodded at him abruptly and began marching ahead, taking the lead. "Wow your friend is hot..." he declared to Bella. "I love a woman who takes charge..."

Bella watched as he charged after Leah, trying to keep pace with her. Mark gave her an apologetic grin. "Sorry about him, he's alright once you get to know him better. It's all an act..."

"That's alright, I'm Bella by the way..." she finally realised she had not told him her name.

"Mark Foster..." he replied promptly. "I'm from..."

"England..." Bella interjected quickly.

Mark's blue eyes twinkled. "That obvious, huh?"

She nodded and gave him another smile. He seemed like a nice guy and she began to relax. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad spending a couple of hours in his company.

XXXXXX

Bella was having a good time, Mark was easy company and they chatted about light things, nothing too heavy. The most fun was watching Leah's interaction with Danny. She looked completely bored and the more he babbled away at her the more insults she threw his way. This seemed to encourage him as he tried desperately to impress her by telling outlandish stories about his exploits. Mark and Bella had snorted with laughter at one point as they watched Danny shift closer to Leah and try to whisper intimately into her ear. This had caused Leah to shove him away spilling his drink all over his shirt.

This had not fazed Danny however. He had whipped off his t-shirt and was now constantly trying to flex his muscles to gain her attention. Even though Leah looked totally bemused by Danny's actions, Bella could tell that her friend was enjoying toying with him. Mark ordered another round of drinks and they all settled in for the afternoon.

XXXXXX

Night was drawing in and the beach bar was filling up with more young people. Leah, Bella and the two young men were still there. Danny was telling them all another outlandish story about a prank they had pulled when they were younger. Even Leah laughed as he described in detail what he had done. The guys were getting quite drunk and Bella was now very tipsy. Leah felt pleasantly relaxed, not being able to get drunk as easily as the others due to her werewolf metabolism. She was enjoying herself and it was nice to see Bella being so carefree for once. Mark and Danny were easy company and by far it had been the best day they had since coming to Jacksonville.

"Shall we go onto somewhere else?" Danny suggested. "Maybe a club, I can show you some of my dance moves."

Mark laughed. "Yeah your moves are one of a kind man, that's for sure. Are you sure you ladies want to risk the embarrassment?"

Danny nearly toppled off of his stool as he hit out at Mark. "Hey don't diss my moves. I bet you can dance, Leah?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"You really are weird, do you know that?" Leah couldn't stop the smirk from spreading across her face. The guy was a complete tool but he was funny. She turned to Bella. "Are you up for moving on or do you want to head back?"

Bella glanced at Mark who was making puppy dog eyes at her. "What do you want to do?" She left the decision in Leah's hands.

"I am up for it if you are. I mean I have to see this guys dance moves now that he has boasted about it."

"Okay then..." Bella agreed. She was feeling extremely light headed. She saw Mark and Danny high five each other and she giggled.

Mark stood up and offered Bella his arm. She held onto his elbow and allowed him to lead the way out. Danny did the same to Leah; she gave him a dubious look but decided what the hell, she slipped her hand through his arm and they followed Bella and Mark out into the night.

Bella giggled as she tripped down the steps at the bar's entrance. Mark managed to catch her and he held her by the waist to keep her steady. "You weren't joking when you said that you had two left feet," he teased.

Bella laughed as she gazed up at him, her head was spinning. Leah and Danny waited for them impatiently. "Are you coming?"

"Yes, yes..." Bella said quickly. Mark kept his arm firmly around her waist to keep her steady.

Leah watched as Bella and Mark finally caught them up and then she turned to continue on her way. It was then that her keen eyes spotted the two tall, muscular figures of Sam and Embry. They were marching toward them across the sand, thunderous expressions on their faces.

"Watchya looking at Lee..." Bella asked as she saw the worried frown crossing her friend's face.

"We've got trouble..."Leah said angrily as she pointed toward the two rapidly approaching figures.

Bella gasped as she recognised Embry. He looked pissed off as he strode toward them, Sam by his side. "What are they doing here?"

"I can only guess..."Leah replied irritably.

Mark and Danny gazed at the two girls, feeling completely confused. "What's going on?" Mark asked.

Leah scowled. "I am afraid our night is over boys. You better go."

Mark frowned. "I am not leaving you two alone to face them. Who are they?"

Bella sighed. "Do as Lee says Mark, it's for the best."

Embry heard Bella's remark as he reached her. "I suggest you do as she says..." his voice was steely.

"No," Mark refused to back down. "Who the hell are you to order me about?"

Bella saw that Embry's hand was clenched, that was not a good sign. She needed to calm him down before things escalated. She stepped away from Mark and reached out and caught hold of Embry's hand. He unclenched his fist and wrapped his warm fingers around hers, tugging her closer to him. Her touch calmed him down.

"I suggest you leave now..." he said again to Mark.

"Do as she says..." Sam interjected. He was ignoring Leah as she shot him a furious glare. He was having trouble controlling his jealousy as the image of her holding onto the other man's arm kept replaying in his head. What the hell had been happening on this so called holiday?

Even though Leah was pissed at the unwelcome appearance of Sam and Embry, she was astute enough to realise that she needed to get Mark and Danny to leave. The pack was well known for being territorial about their women around other males. She did not want that sort of trouble. She was glad to see that Bella was aware of this as well; she had done the right thing by going straight over to Embry and getting him to calm down.

"Look guys it was fun but you need to go..."Leah said softly.

Mark ignored her and looked at Bella again."Bella?" He questioned.

Bella did not turn his way; she kept her eyes fixated on Embry wanting to keep his attention on her. "Just go Mark, like Lee said it's been fun but you need to leave now."

Mark and Danny exchanged glances. They were here on holiday and even though they had fun tonight with the two girls they really didn't want to get into a fight. Perhaps these guys were their boyfriends, they sure acted that way. The tension in the air was palpable and in the end the two Englishman decided to comply with the girl's wishes. They bid them a quick goodnight and left, disappearing into the darkness.

Once they were gone, Leah stood and crossed her arms, glaring up at Sam. "Now would you mind telling us what the fuck you two are doing here?" She demanded.

Bella dropped Embry's hand and stepped back from him. "What she just said..." she snapped, looking at Embry sadly. Her good mood had come crashing down with his unexpected appearance and their last conversation began to resound in her head.

So the four of them faced off against each other as Bella and Leah waited for Embry and Sam's explanation.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	9. Chapter 9

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Nine-Talking Things Out**

Sam tore his gaze away from Leah and began to pace, running a hand through his short hair. She deserved an explanation for his sudden appearance and he wanted to give her one but as he ran his reasons over in his mind they all sounded lame. Instead he decided to go with what was in his heart.

"I love you Lee, it is as simple as that. I know that this was not the best idea but I missed you and I was worried that if I didn't fight harder this time and show you how much you mean to me...then I would lose you again. I needed you to see that I am serious about us..." he stopped walking back and forth and looked her determinedly in the eyes again.

Leah regarded him coolly. She didn't know how she felt or where to go from here. This vacation was meant to be a chance to get away from it all and think things through. Why did he have to make the journey here and throw her emotions through a loop again? "You are right about this not being a good idea. I warned you that I needed space to think. What happened between us cannot be fixed by romantic declarations."

Sam nodded his head in agreement. "You're right. It was a bad move, I am sorry," he said sincerely.

Leah turned to Bella. "I need to speak to him alone. Will you be alright?"

Bella sighed. "Yeah, I am sure Embry will walk me back home and anyway we both need to talk as well." she said tiredly.

Leah pulled her in for a quick hug and then headed over to join Sam. "Come and let's take a walk..."

"I'll catch up with you later, Em..." Sam immediately followed Leah. Embry and Bella watched them go until they were swallowed up by the darkness.

XXXXXX

Embry and Bella walked side by side in tense silence as they made their way back to Renee's house. Embry was turning over in his head the best way to speak to her. It had been a shock to see her laughing and joking around with another guy. She had actually been holding his arm. Jealousy shot through him as he pictured the scene in his head. He tried to reign in his turbulent emotions. In the end it was Bella who was the first to speak.

"Why did you come?" She asked him softly, she did not look at him as she spoke but kept her eyes trained to the sidewalk.

"I missed you and I was worried. To be honest I have been all over the place these last few days. I never meant to hurt or upset you Bella. You have to believe that I was always your friend, how I felt about you never factored into it." He replied.

"Are you sure about that? I thought that we were just friends. I don't know what I would have done without your support since...since..." Bella couldn't say Jake's name. The grief was still too raw. She wiped at a stray tear that leaked out of her eye.

Embry stopped walking and reached for her hand pulling her to a halt. "Bella please you have to believe me when I say I had no ulterior motive when I started to spend so much time with you. I can't help how I feel but I would never have acted on those feelings, I know that you are still grieving for Jake."

Bella winced as he said Jake's name. She pulled her hand out of his and reluctantly turned to face him. "You know tonight I was having so much fun. I was just me, plain Bella Swan. Those guys didn't know about my past, I could just relax for a few hours and pretend. That's why I came here to just relax and try and move past my grief. Then you and Sam appear and it all comes crashing back down on me. I miss Jake, every day. People keep telling me it gets easier with time, but you know what, it doesn't. I dream about him and most days I wake up thinking that he is still here with me and then reality kicks in and I am right back where I started."

Embry felt his heart hurt at her words, he moved forward to embrace her but she stepped back from him. She saw the hurt look in his eyes and sighed again. "When you let slip about how you felt about me it just added to the pressure. I have been confiding in you these past months and you have seen me at my lowest. I felt betrayed because I thought you really were doing it with the best of intentions..."

"I was, I mean I am. What will it take for you to believe me?" He cried out desperately.

It had been a long day for Bella. The drink she had consumed was wearing off and her head was beginning to pound. Exhaustion made her crabby as she glared up at Embry, an irrational anger surging through her. "That's just it, I can't believe you. I told you the night of Seth's party to leave me alone and I meant it..." she yelled up at him.

Her words were like a sucker punch to the gut, it sent Embry reeling. He actually staggered back, his handsome face showing his hurt and despair. "You think that you are the only one grieving for Jake. You act as if you are the only one who misses him. Quil and l were his closest friends, he was like my brother and without him around these past few months it has been like hell. You are selfish Bella Swan; you think that the world revolves around you and how you feel. Well let me tell you lady it doesn't, I remember the hell you put Jake through with all your back and forth with that leech you were so attached to..."

Bella slapped him then, hard. She yelled in pain as she felt her whole arm shudder at the impact. Embry stood frozen staring at her in shock. It took him a moment to register what had just happened. Bella was now openly sobbing, holding her injured hand against her chest with the other.

"Bella I am so sorry, I didn't mean any of that..." Embry begged her.

"Leave me alone..." she said miserably.

Embry shook his head no as he pulled her into his warm arms and cradled her against his chest. She was too tired to struggle and the supernatural heat that exuded from him reminded her of Jacob. She sagged against him and soaked his t-shirt with her tears.

"I am so tired..." she said sadly.

Embry rested his head on top of hers as he held her tight. "Me too, Bella, me too."

XXXXXX

Leah and Bella lay on the camp beds staring up at the dark ceiling. Sam and Embry were spending the night at a cheap motel. Neither girl had divulged their separate conversations with their respective men. Leah had returned at two in the morning looking very subdued and teary eyed. Bella was too emotionally exhausted to enquire how she was feeling. The minutes ticked by as they sought sleep but it continued to elude them.

"Do you think we are cursed?" Leah finally broke the silence.

Bella tuned onto her side and peered over at Leah, the dark making her appear like a shadowy figure. "In what way?" She questioned.

"Love...do you think we are cursed never to be happy in love. I lost Sam in the worst way, you suffered through that leech abusing you and then when you thought you had found happiness with Jake that was snatched away..." Leah rolled over so that she was facing Bella. Her eyesight was keener than her friends and she could see her clearly, even in the pitch dark.

"I don't know...I mean what sort of example have I ever had of lasting happiness. My mom and dad divorced when I was young. My dad has never moved on..." Bella rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling again.

"Why did you fall in love with that leech?" Leah asked curiously. "I always wondered what it was you saw in him when you had Jake to save you."

Bella laughed bitterly, she should have felt offended but it was just like Leah to get straight to the point. She gave her question due consideration before answering. "When I first met Edward and his family they seemed like the perfect ideal. They were so connected and looked out for each other, he was always so worried about my safety and was telling me constantly how much he loved and needed me. I guess I fell in love with the romanticism of it all. It had just been me and mom for so long and you know what she can be like. It was nice to be looked after for a while I guess. Then I met Jake and well he turned my world upside down. I had made my future plans and I was determined to stick to them but then he got under my skin and showed me what true love really meant, he loved me for myself and allowed me to grow. Edward was always so controlling..."

Leah reached out and caught her hand. "I am sorry you have had to go through that Bella, it makes what I went through with Sam seem trivial..."

Bella squeezed her hand. "No it doesn't, you are so strong Lee. You have been through so much, losing your dad and having your whole life flipped on its head when you phased. I can't imagine how it was for you to lose Sam to your own cousin. Emily was selfish when she invoked the imprint bond to ensnare Sam like that, she could have just chosen to have him as her friend..."

"She was always jealous of me; I am not actually surprised that she did that. I could see how much she wanted him when she first met him. Our relationship was always doomed to failure, I just never wanted to admit it to myself." Leah said sadly.

"Lee, I know that you still love Sam and he still loves you. Both of you have a chance to be together and look to the future. I would take it if I were you. If I was in your situation and it was me and Jake, I would seize the moment and tell him how much I love him, despite everything." Bella admitted.

"You think I should forgive him?" Leah asked in surprise.

"No, I think you should admit that you love each other and just be happy, life is too short." Bella said bluntly.

"You really know how to cut through to the heart of the matter, don't ya girl..." Leah flashed her a rare smile.

"I try..." Bella smiled back at her.

Leah laughed. "Well I might just have another little talk with Sam in the morning."

"You do that, Ms Clearwater..." Bella shifted about so that she was comfortable. "Night Lee..."

"Night Bella..." Leah closed her eyes feeling much better after their talk.

XXXXXX

Leah's eyes snapped open, she could hear talking. She turned her head and saw Bella fidgeting about in her sleep. Her friend was mumbling something. She strained her ears to hear what she was saying and her eyes widened as she heard the name that Bella was saying over and over. There was a contented smile on her face as she rolled over onto her side, letting out a soft sigh as she said the name once again.

"My god girl, I would never have guessed..." Leah said under her breath. She wondered whether to wake Bella up and tell her she had heard what she was whispering in her sleep. Then again the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass her friend. Leah vowed to keep what she had heard to herself. It was Bella's business and she had no right to interfere, she would just be there when she was needed. With this thought in mind, Leah settled back down and went back to dreaming of Sam.

_**A/N-I was going to have a big confrontation between the four of them but then I changed my mind. There have been enough angsty arguments. I thought it went better this way, what do you think? **_

_**Nikki **_


	10. Chapter 10

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Ten-Confession**

Bella pulled into the driveway of the Swan house to find Seth sitting on the doorstep. She had just finished a rather hectic shift at Newton's and was feeling tired and crabby. While there she had been wishing that she was back on the beach with Leah, laying on the sand a good book in her hand, relaxing. The holiday seemed like an age ago, even though it had been barely two weeks. Bella's lips curled up into a smile as she watched Seth jump gracefully up onto his feet and jog over to the Chevy. He had her door opened and was pulling her out before she could catch her breath. He gave her a quick hug before reluctantly releasing her.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you..." Bella pushed her long hair out of her face and smiled up at him. "Seth, have you grown again?" She questioned in disbelief as she studied him carefully.

A shy grin lit up his handsome face as he gazed back at her. "Yeah, I am now six foot seven and a half..."

"You're taller than Jake was now..." she murmured thoughtfully in reply. She reached out and patted his arm trying to pull herself back into the moment as Jacob's beloved face swam before her eyes.

Seth watched her carefully. "You alright, Bella? If this is a bad time I can go..."

Bella shook her head. "No this is fine. I am just a bit tired that's all, let me get inside and make a fresh pot of coffee and I will be wide awake again."

"Some food too, right...you are getting thinner Bella. You have to keep your strength up." He said boldly.

"You sound like your sister..."Bella grouched as she opened the front door and led the way inside.

"Hell no..." Seth grimaced as he followed her inside. His comment made Bella laugh and the mood lightened.

XXXXXX

"I brought you over some DVD's I thought you might like. I hope you don't mind. You have been so busy at work and stuff that we haven't had much chance to catch up." Seth flashed another one of his sweet smiles and Bella felt her heart melt. He was so endearing and thoughtful.

"Thanks, that's kind of you. Let me see, what did you bring?" Bella picked them up one by one and studied them. They were all her favourite movies. How did Seth know what she liked? She glanced up at his face quickly. He was gazing down at her with an eager expression. Maybe Leah had told him what she liked, although she could never remember having a conversation with Seth's sister about her favourite movies.

Bella eventually picked one and handed it to him. "How about this one? I haven't seen it in a long while..."

Seth looked down at her choice. "Wuthering Heights...okay, what is it about by the way?" He questioned, although looking at the cover with the two simpering actors gave him a good guess.

Bella giggled at his dubious expression. He had brought her all these romantic DVD's to watch and had no idea what they were about. He was beyond cute. She caught hold of his hand and pulled him after her into the living room. "You put the film on and I will get us some snacks..."

"Yay..." Seth knelt down in front of the DVD player and slipped in the disc a happy grin spreading across his face. He had made Bella laugh. For that brief instant she had looked like her old self, big brown eyes glowing and a radiant expression on her beautiful face. An image of the first time he had met her flashed through his mind and he swallowed nervously. He really needed to get his crush under control. That was all it was he kept repeating to himself, just a crush.

XXXXXX

Embry threw his work tools in the back of the pickup and leaned back against it, smiling to himself in satisfaction. He looked over toward Murphy's barn as he watched Quil emerge with old man Murphy, shaking the guy's hand. Today was pay day and by the pleased look crossing their employers face it appeared that he would be recommending them to others in the future. Murphy bid them both good bye and Quil strolled over to his friend, a smirk crossing his lips as he waved a brown envelope stuffed with cash in front of his face.

"He even gave us a bonus Embry; we are rolling in the money. He has already mentioned us to his friend Tony Jackson." Quil held out his hand for a high five. Embry stared at him disbelievingly as he slapped Quil's hand.

"Seriously? Tony Jackson? If we get him to hire us we will have enough work for months and that man has awesome contacts. "Embry felt happiness bubbling up inside him for the first time since he had returned from Florida with Sam. Bella had been keeping him at arm's length since then but he was sure that this would be a good excuse to go and see her.

Quil could read his friend's face so well and he sighed irritably. He was getting tired of Embry's obsession with Bella. The dude needed to back off and let the girl heal in her own time. The more he pushed Bella, the more the girl backed away. It had been Quil who had borne the brunt of Embry's unhappiness at the situation as they worked together every day and he had been forced to listen. It had taken a lot of persuasion to get his friend to stay away the last few days, but it seemed now he was planning to go straight over there.

"Man, I don't think it's a good idea that you go..." He said quietly.

"Go where?" Embry asked dismissively. "What makes you think I am planning to go somewhere?"

"Because I know you, dude. You are planning to go and tell Bella the good news hoping it will be like some sort of breakthrough." Quil answered bluntly.

Embry scowled at him. He opened the door to the pickup and climbed in. "I told you before Quil, stay out of it." He turned on the engine and floored the accelerator. The old engine whined in protest as he drove away from his best friend.

XXXXXX

Seth yawned as the credits began rolling up at the end of the film. He had kept falling asleep during the slower parts of the film and Bella had a lot of fun digging him in the side until he woke up. He stretched his long arms and legs. "That was a great film..." He lied badly.

Bella smirked at him as she slid off of the sofa and switched off the DVD player. "Yep, I could really sense how much you enjoyed it by the loud snores emanating from your open mouth during your frequent naps."

Seth pretended to be offended. "I do not snore. The sounds were just my way of keeping you awake so you didn't miss any of the film."

Bella raised her eyebrows, her smile getting bigger."Oh, really Seth, that was so kind of you..."

Seth brushed the shoulder of his t-shirt with one hand as he gave her a smug grin. "I try my best. You do know that I am going to charge you for the use of my shoulder while you slept, don't you. I mean this t-shirt will need to be dry cleaned with all the dribble drying on it..." he teased.

"Right you asked for it mister..." Bella challenged him as she launched herself at him.

They both collapsed back on the sofa as Bella straddled his lap and began to tickle him mercilessly along his sides. Seth began to beg her to stop but she trailed her fingers up and down his sides, making him squirm. Their breathless laughter echoed through the room. Seth finally caught hold of her hands and twisted her around in his lap so that they were facing each other, both breathing heavily.

"That's not fair using your superior strength to stop me..." Bella said in amusement.

Seth grinned back at her. "I had to; you were not listening to my pleas for mercy. I can't believe you remembered my weak spots."

"I have never forgotten. Leah and I used to give you tickling matches when you were little." She recalled.

"Yeah, I remember now..." Seth's voice became quiet as he gazed at her. She stared back at him intently, her smile fading. The sudden tension between them caught both off guard.

A knock on the door startled them and Bella tore her eyes away from Seth's. "I need to go answer that..." she mumbled, climbing off of his lap.

Seth's head fell back against the cushions as he watched her go. "Shit..." he mumbled, knowing for certain now that what he felt for Bella Swan was not just a crush.

XXXXXX

As soon was Bella opened the door she was engulfed in another pair of warm arms as Embry swept her up and swung her round. She clung to his broad shoulders to keep herself steady. "Embry..." she shrieked in surprise.

Embry laughed as he put her back down on her feet, he kept his hands on her waist so that she wouldn't tumble. "We finished the job today Bella. Old man Murphy paid us and then let on that he had recommended us to Tony Jackson." His eyes were shining as he spoke.

Bella felt breathless and disorientated. She stared up into his happy face as the news slowly sank in. A smile lit up her face and she pulled him in for a hug. "That's great news Embry. You really deserve this; you and Quil have worked so hard..."

Embry's arms wrapped around her tightly as he kept her head pressed to his chest. A familiar scent assaulted his nostrils. Seth Clearwater must be in the house. He felt his shoulders tense at the thought that he had been visiting Bella again. Embry took in a couple of deep breaths to try and force himself to relax. He did not want to let her see how upset this made him.

Bella eventually disentangled herself from his arms and gave him another smile. "I am so happy for you, Embry."

"Thanks," he said softly. "I was wondering whether you felt like coming out with me to celebrate."

Bella swallowed nervously as she glanced quickly back toward the house. Embry saw her look and caught her hand. "It's alright I know that Seth is here. I can smell him..." he explained.

"And you're not mad?" She asked cautiously. "I know you are still having trouble forgiving him."

Embry dampened down his ambivalence about Seth. All he wanted was to spend time with Bella alone. "Please Bella; this is a big deal for me."

She finally gave in. "Okay, wait here. I'll just tell Seth..."

Embry gave her a small smile as he watched her run back into the house. It slipped from his lips as he tried to reign in his jealousy over Seth.

XXXXXX

Leah came home in a good mood. She had spent the day with Sam on the beach. Even though it was a cold day they had not felt the freezing temperatures. Their supernatural body heat kept them toasty warm. It was a slow process but they were beginning to reconnect with each other. Sam was respecting her need to take things at her pace. As she entered the kitchen she found her brother sitting at the table, a worried frown on his face.

"Hey Sethy what's up with you?" She asked him as she ruffled his hair.

"Don't do that..." he batted her hand away in annoyance. "I am not a child."

Leah regarded him thoughtfully. "No, you're not. I am sorry."

It was so rare to hear her apologise that Seth glanced up at her in surprise. "Thanks..."

Leah sat down opposite him and gave him an encouraging smile. "Talk to me Seth. I can see you're worried about something..."

Seth looked at her carefully. "Promise you won't rip me to shreds..."

"Can't be that bad, Seth..." Leah replied.

"Oh yes it is. I am in love with Bella Swan..." He confessed.

"Shit..." Leah said in shock.

"Shit is right..."Seth said miserably as he put his head in his hands.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	11. Chapter 11

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Eleven-Bella Finds Out**

Embry ran around quickly to open the door to the passenger side of his pickup. Bella smiled at him in amusement as he took her hand and helped her down. "That's very chivalrous of you..." she teased.

"I try..." Embry kept his hand enclosed around hers as they walked to the front door of her house. His expression turned serious as he stopped outside the door and gazed down at her. "I really enjoyed tonight, thanks for coming with me."

Bella could see the intensity shining from his dark eyes and she swallowed nervously. "I had fun tonight too. It was nice to relax." She said cautiously.

Embry took her other hand in his so he was holding them both in his warm grip. He continued to hold her gaze as he brought them up to his lips and kissed them gently. "Perhaps we could do this again soon?" He asked softly.

Bella did not know what to do, she did not want to upset him or give him the wrong idea. She gently took her hands out of his. "Embry, I did enjoy tonight but I am not ready to..."she tried to find the right words but they eluded her.

Embry saw her distress and he backtracked, knowing that he had pushed her too far again. "I only meant as friends Bella, no complications. " He responded quickly. The last thing he wanted was for her to push him away again.

"Really... just as friends?" Bella checked to make sure.

He nodded. "Yeah, just as friends." He agreed.

Bella smiled up at him in relief. "Then that would be great. Goodnight Embry." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek in gratitude before running up the steps and hastily entering the house.

Embry watched her go, his hand rubbing the spot on his cheek where she had just kissed it.

XXXXXX

The bell over the door jingled again indicating that someone had entered the store. Bella looked over in that direction eagerly, thinking that maybe Seth was finally going to make an appearance. It was usually this time of day that he would come to see her and they would sit and have a chat. She had missed his company the last few days, he had not turned up for his usual visits and she began to wonder if she had upset him in some way. She had not seen him since he had brought the DVD's over and Embry had interrupted them. Bella was disappointed to see that it was just another hiker looking for some camping equipment. Putting on her fake smile as he approached she began to help him with his purchases.

The rest of her shift dragged by slowly, she had quite a few customers but none of them was the one she wanted to see. As the time ticked by and the end of her shift neared Bella was resolved to go and see Seth and ask him outright if she had upset him by abandoning him to go out with Embry for the evening. As soon as the last customer was dealt with and her colleague turned up to take over, Bella pulled on her heavy coat and walked briskly out of the door, heading straight for her truck.

She yanked the heavy door of her Chevy open and quickly shoved the key in the ignition. The loud engine rumbled to life and she pulled out of the Newton's car park and headed for La Push. She cursed the fact that the truck would not go above sixty, for some reason she felt desperate to reach Seth's house and apologise. Bella hated the thought that he could be upset with her. Finally after what seemed forever to her but was only twenty minutes she reached his house and parked up the Chevy. If he was in, the loud noise her truck made would certainly give him fair warning that she was here.

Bella exited the vehicle and made her way to the front of the house, knocking on the door loudly. She stood there impatiently waiting. A couple of minutes passed and she began to think that no one was at home when the door was finally opened. Seth stared at Bella in surprise, his eyes were heavy and he looked like he had been up all night. Bella groaned inwardly, of course he must have been on patrol all night and here she was banging his door down.

"Hi, Bella I didn't know you were coming over. Lee is out on patrol..." He said wearily, rubbing his eyes.

Bella gave him a sheepish smile. "I am so sorry, Seth. I forgot you were on night patrols this week. I actually came to see you, when you didn't come into the shop like you usually do I got worried. I thought maybe you were upset with me..." she blurted out quickly.

Seth looked bewildered. "Why would you think that?" He asked.

Bella dug her hands in her coat pockets and dropped her eyes to the floor. "It's going to sound stupid now...I just thought you might be upset because I cut our afternoon short to go off and celebrate with Embry..."

Seth raised his eyebrows in surprise. "No, I wasn't upset. Embry had some great news of course you would want to celebrate with him. I didn't mind."

"Honestly..." she said anxiously, watching his reaction carefully.

Seth smiled. "Honestly..."

Bella let out a relieved sigh. "That's great...well I better go and let you go back to bed..."

Seth caught hold of her arm as she turned to leave. "You don't have to go. I was due to get up anyway."

"No it's okay; you need your rest..." Bella began to protest.

"Bella I am fine. Come in, I have missed you and our chats. I'll make some coffee and we can catch up." He suggested eagerly.

Bella bit her lip as she began to waver. "Alright, if you're sure you are not too tired." She said, finally giving in.

Seth caught hold of her hand and pulled her into the house. "I'm sure..." he promised as he led the way to the kitchen.

XXXXXX

Embry and Quil shook hands with Tony Jackson. He had agreed to hire them to do some extensive renovation work on an old property he had recently purchased. They had looked it over and given him a quote. Old man Murphy had recommended them both highly and he had wasted no time in seeking them out.

"Nice doing business with you boys," Tony Jackson said agreeably. "If you do a good job on this I have other projects for you to work on."

"We won't let you down sir..." Quil replied earnestly.

Tony Jackson smiled. "I know you won't lad. See you both tomorrow."

"We'll be there." Embry promised. Tony Jackson bid them goodbye and went back into his house.

Quil was literally hopping around with joy. "This is awesome Em, we are set up for the next few months and if we do a good job we will have loads of work. We will have enough to put a down payment on a workshop and actually set up a proper business."

Embry laughed at his friend's eagerness. "One thing at a time Quil..."

"Come on; let's open some beers to celebrate. I have case at my house." Quil began to lead the way to Embry's pickup.

"I was going to head over to Bella's Quil. Can we take a rain check?" He said quickly.

Quil let out an irritated sigh. "Can't you leave her alone for five minutes Em? You were over there yesterday straight after work. Give the girl some breathing room, would ya..."

Embry glared at him. "What is your problem Quil? Why are you so bothered when I spend time with her?" He demanded.

"Because, she is Jake's girl that's why," Quil shot back at him. "There are plenty of other girls around but you refuse to even look at them. Have you imprinted on her or something?"

"Jake is gone, Quil. As sad as that is, Bella should be allowed to move on with her life..." Embry yelled back at him.

"Move on with you, isn't that what you mean..."Quil shook his head angrily and headed for the truck. He slammed the door after him as he climbed in.

Embry swallowed down the bile in his throat. He knew that Quil didn't mean what he had just said. He was still missing Jake, just like they all were. He headed over to the truck and got in. "Look maybe I can see Bella another night. Let's break open that case of beer..." he said as a peace offering.

Quil smirked at him. "Now you're talking..." he felt his anger seeping away.

Embry started the engine and headed out to Quil's house.

XXXXXX

Seth and Bella had retreated to the living room. They sat on the couch side by side watching an old film and just talking. Two hours passed in this way as they both felt their eyes getting heavier. Bella's head dropped onto Seth's shoulder as her eyes closed and she fell asleep. Seth gave her an affectionate smile. He checked his watch to see how long he had left before he needed to leave for his next patrol. He still had three hours, he made himself more comfortable next to Bella and let his head rest near hers as he closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

When he next opened his eyes the house was dark. Seth blinked a couple of times, letting his eyes get used to the dark. He reached over carefully so as not to disturb Bella and switched on the lamp which was next to the sofa. The light gave off a soft glow as he glanced at his watch again. He sighed in exasperation; it was time for him to leave. Seth turned and looked down at Bella; her head was still resting on his shoulder, her long hair shining in the light cast by the lamp. Without realising what he was doing Seth gently brushed her hair to one side so he could see her face better. Her long lashes cast shadows across her pale cheeks and he watched as her chest rose and fell with her breathing.

He cursed the fact that he had to leave; he wished that he could stay here and just hold her in his arms. That would be like heaven. "I love you, Bella..." he whispered thinking that she was still deeply asleep.

Bella heard his words as she kept her eyes tightly shut, not wanting him to know that she had heard his confession. Her heart thumped painfully in her chest as she wondered what the hell she was supposed to do now...

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	12. Chapter 12

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Twelve-Dream**

Sam stood at the water's edge throwing stones into the sea. He smiled as he watched the stone skip several times across the surface before sinking under the waves. Leah shook her head in amusement. "You haven't lost your touch..." she said wryly.

Sam turned to her and grinned. She was sitting on the sand, her legs drawn up to her chest, arms looped around them. "You're just sore because you haven't the talent."

Leah rolled her eyes at him. "I have better things to do with my spare time..."

Sam threw his last stone into the sea and swiftly rejoined her, draping his arm over her shoulders as he sat beside her. Leaning in he kissed her gently before pulling away and studying her intently. "Lee, we need to talk..." his tone turned serious.

"What about?" Leah felt her heart beat faster in trepidation; all mirth had gone from his face.

"It's about Seth..." Sam said carefully, gauging her reaction.

Leah stiffened at the mention of her brother and became immediately defensive. "What about him? If Quil and Embry have been causing a ruckus again I will personally..."

Sam put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them gently. "Lee calm down, this has nothing to do with them. It's about Seth and his future..."

"I don't understand," Leah retorted impatiently. "Stop being so damn cryptic and just tell me..."

"I am trying to but you keep interrupting..." Sam smiled at her wanly. "Just let me speak no interruptions, okay."

Leah sighed and finally nodded.

"Thanks." Sam let go of her shoulders and took her hands instead as he began to explain. "Seth has had quite a growth spurt since he turned seventeen; I mean he is now taller than Jake was at that age."

"So..." Leah frowned.

Sam put his finger over her lips to silence her. "Just listen, I am not meant to be Alpha of this pack. It was Jake's destiny and I was glad when he took over the responsibility. He was born to lead it was in his blood. When we lost him and I was forced to take on my old role I could feel that something was not quite right, even more so than the first time that I had to lead. I felt an undercurrent of hidden power, something challenging me, not outright but it was there. I know that none of you have felt this, it is just relating to me and the one person who is destined to take Jake's place now that he is gone."

Leah's lower lip trembled as she stared at him. "You mean Seth, don't you?" She said dully.

Sam nodded. "Billy Black has no other living sons. Your family is next in line. At one time I thought it would be Quil but I have never felt that leadership quality in him, but Seth on the other hand...lately he has been gently pushing against my control and when I issued a direct Alpha order on him as a test it didn't affect him. Remember how Jake used to circumnavigate my orders after he phased?"

"Yes..." Leah murmured. "I just can't believe it...what does this mean for us all. Quil and Embry won't ever accept him as a leader. What about you?"

Sam tore his gaze away and looked out toward the sea. "I never wanted this responsibility, Lee. If Seth challenges me then I will step down without a fight."

Leah slipped her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder. "We have another problem to add into the mix..." she admitted.

"What?" Sam asked in confusion.

Leah felt bad for betraying Seth's confidence but Sam needed to know. "My brother is in love with Bella, he told me the other night and with Embry feeling the same we have a royal mess on our hands."

Sam groaned in annoyance. "This is turning into a nightmare..."

Leah just nodded and held onto him tighter, worrying how this was going to affect not only her brother but her friend as well.

XXXXXX

Bella knelt in front of Jacob's grave, tears streaming down her face. "I am sorry Jake, I never meant for this to happen. I don't know why it did. I swear I never encouraged them, at least I don't think I did." She began to question her actions over the last few months.

She knew that she had leaned on Embry heavily for support in the first few months since she lost Jake. She had been so distraught and lost that it felt good to have his support. He had allowed her to grieve and they used to sit for hours just talking about Jake and their shared memories of him. Embry had become one of her closest friends during this period of her life and she felt that she could trust him implicitly. Then he had revealed his feelings for her and she had felt betrayed, their relationship had changed again as she sought to keep him at a distance, telling him that she could only ever be his friend.

Then there was sweet Seth, she replayed his confession in her head of the previous night. He was still unaware that she had heard him. When he had touched her hair and stroked her cheek it had woken her and as she heard his words she had managed to feign that she was still asleep. Bella had been enjoying spending time with Leah's brother; he was so sweet and kind. They shared easy banter just like she and Jake used to. He was even taller than Jake used to be now and sometimes the way he carried himself and the intense look in his eye reminded her of her lost love.

"Oh god Jake what have I done? I miss you so much, why can't you be here...I feel like I have betrayed you...I never meant for this to happen, I swear..."She said miserably, her despair washing over her. The breeze caught her hair and whipped it around her face obscuring her vision.

Bella felt her stomach clench and she wound her arms around her middle as if trying to hold herself together. A light rain began to fall and she continued to sit near his grave, rocking back and forth letting the rain coat her skin and mix with her own tears. Her sobs became heavier as she began to weep in earnest; she hit the ground with her fists venting her frustration. All the grief that Bella had been trying to overcome once again consumed her as she raised her head and looked up into the darkening sky and screamed out Jacob's name into the wind. Her vision became blurred as tiredness and stress overtook her and she fell onto the cold ground sinking into oblivion.

XXXXXX

When she next woke up she found that she was lying on the couch in her own home. Her throat felt sore as she tried to swallow. What had happened? How had she got back home? A noise off to the side made her turn her head in that direction. Her eyes settled on an anxious looking Seth, she saw a smile of relief form on his lips as he noticed that she was finally awake.

"Bella, thank god. I have been so worried...when I saw you out cold near Jake's grave..." Seth choked out.

"Have you got some water?" Bella rasped. Her throat felt like sandpaper.

Seth got up quickly and gently raised her head so that she could drink from a glass that was on the coffee table. She gulped the cool liquid down thirstily. "Thanks..." she said when she had finished. "How did you find me, Seth?"

A faint red tinge coloured Seth's cheeks as he ducked his head and avoided her gaze. "I don't know really. I just felt like something was wrong with you. I tried here first and then I figured you would be with Jake..."

Bella struggled to sit up; she felt Seth's warm hands touch her skin as he helped her up. Her head span and she closed her eyes to get it to stop.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked her anxiously. One of his hands was still touching her waist.

"It's okay. I just felt a bit lightheaded..." Bella opened her eyes and glanced at him quickly.

Seth took his hand away from her waist and she found that she missed the warmth; she was always cold these days. "I was so scared Bella when I saw you like that. I haven't felt like that since the newborn battle when Victoria tried to attack you." He admitted softly.

Bella regarded him thoughtfully, her brown eyes showing her confusion as she battled with her feelings. "You saved me that day, without you Edward would have been killed and me too."

Seth gazed back at her, his love showing clearly all over his handsome face. This time though Bella did not turn away from it, instead she found herself leaning closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder. "Thanks for saving me again..." she murmured.

"Ditto..." Seth replied as he slowly put his arm over her shoulders and cradled her gently against his chest.

XXXXXX

Bella fell into an exhausted sleep. Seth continued to hold her close as she slept; making sure that she was comfortable. Her eyes moved under her lids and he guessed that she was having a dream. Jacob had confessed to them all once that Bella experienced vivid dreams and nightmares. Seth cuddled her closer into his side hoping that his nearness would prevent her from having a nightmare.

XXXXXX

The wind blew her hair back from her face as she ran down the sandy beach toward the tall, tan figure striding confidently in front of her. "Jake, wait..." Bella called out desperately. Why did he not turn around?

She continued to run, but as so often happened in dreams, she seemed to be lagging further behind as he strolled off into the distance. "Jacob..." she yelled out again. Bella began to push herself harder, her legs pumping until they began to ache with tiredness; she was determined to reach him. She knew that if she could make him hear her then everything would be alright.

Her frustration knew no bounds as Jacob disappeared around a rocky corner of the beach; it was a place she recognised. The old bleached out driftwood log that they deemed as theirs lay just where he had turned. Bella finally felt her legs free up and she covered the distance within seconds, turning the corner with a smile on her face expecting to see Jacob waiting there, arms wide open, except it wasn't him. The tall figure waited by the bleached out log, a happy smile on his face as he held out his arms in welcome. Bella did not miss a step as she ran toward him and threw herself into his arms, feeling like she had finally come home...

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	13. Chapter 13

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Thirteen-Conflict**

Charlie unloaded the shopping from the cruiser. He groaned as he stood up holding the heavy bags. It had been a long tiring shift at work and he had not been in the best mood to go shopping. He just hoped that he had remembered everything that they needed. Bella had taken over this duty but the last day or so she had seemed to have sunk back into her melancholy. Charlie sighed; he did not know what to do to help her. He knew that it was her misplaced guilt about moving on that was holding her back. It seemed like she felt that she shouldn't laugh or even smile now that Jake was gone. All he could do was support her and hope that she would someday get past her sadness.

"Hey, need some help there Charlie..." Embry called out suddenly, startling Bella's father.

Charlie spun round dropping one of the bags in the process. "You made me jump..." he grouched.

Embry hid his smile; he leaned down and picked up the dropped bag taking some of the others off Charlie in the process. "Sorry about that..."

"You Quileute boys sure make no noise when you walk." Charlie muttered. "You think with your size you would make some sort of sound."

Embry just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as he headed to the front door. "It must be out natural grace..."

"Yeah right..." Charlie followed Embry up the porch steps and opened the door to let them into the house.

XXXXXX

Seth cursed under his breath as he heard the two men enter the house. Bella was still fast asleep, curled into his side, one hand gripping his shirt in her small fist. For the last ten minutes she had been smiling, saying random words. He heard her whisper love a couple of times and he guessed she must be dreaming of Jacob. Now Embry was here, the last thing Seth wanted was a confrontation with his pack brother, not in front of Bella, she had been through enough today. But he didn't see how he could prevent it.

"Bella..." Charlie called out for his daughter. Seth felt her jerk awake and she stared up into his worried eyes in alarm.

"Sethy..." she whispered.

Seth put his finger to his lips. "Embry is here with your dad. He must already know that I am with you. I know that he is not going to be pleased that I am here again." He informed her gently.

Bella's hand unconsciously gripped his shirt tighter in her hand. "It is none of his business who I have over to my house. You have just as much right as he does. I am tired of all this damn animosity."

"What are you doing here Seth?" Embry's voice sounded calm but Seth could hear the undercurrent of steel beneath. He saw his pack brother look them over carefully, frowning as he saw how close they were sitting together.

Bella sat up straighter and shifted away from Seth slightly. "I fell asleep..." she told him. " I didn't think you were coming over this evening."

Embry shot Seth a glare before turning to Bella. "I just thought I would keep you company."

Bella glanced between the two of them. Embry and Seth were staring each other down. She watched as Seth rose from his seat and stood to his full height. He towered above Embry who was only six foot two to Seth's six foot seven and a half. The tension was palpable between them and Bella shuddered. She had to break this up before it escalated into something both of them would regret. She slipped between them and placed a hand on both. They broke the staring contest and gazed down at her.

"If you guys want to have a pissing contest I suggest you leave. My dad is in the house and I will not have you starting up some pathetic rivalry while he is here. To be honest I am sick of it. Embry you need to get past your mistaken grudge against Seth I can't take this anymore. I just can't..." her voice cracked at the end and she quickly fled the room, tears streaking her cheeks.

Seth immediately went to follow her but as he passed Embry he felt his hand grab hold of his arm and stop him. He twisted around and frowned at Embry. "Let go of me..."

Embry shook his head. "No. I am warning you Seth, stay away from her. All you do is upset and bring back bad memories for her. I don't know what game you are playing but I won't allow you to..."

Seth yanked his arm away from Embry's hold as he turned fully to face him. The pupils of his eyes had darkened and his whole demeanour changed as he confronted his pack brother. "Never order me about Call. I will tolerate it this one time because Bella and her dad are here, but I won't again."

Embry stepped back as the force of Seth's words hit him like a blow to the chest. He watched the younger male turn swiftly on his heel and leave the room. His hand shook slightly as he ran a hand threw his black hair. What the hell had just happened? Embry rarely was on the receiving end of an Alpha command. The only time he could recall was when he and Quil had gone too far in teasing Jake about Bella and he ordered them to remain quiet. The force of the command had knocked the breaths from their body and they immediately obeyed his wishes. Embry had felt the same commanding energy from Seth as he spoke. He sank down on the nearest chair and pondered over what he had just witnessed. He needed to speak to Quil urgently.

XXXXXX

Bella served up a simple casserole. Seth had bid her goodbye and promised he would be in touch the next day. Embry had stayed and was sitting at the table with her father talking about sports. Bella had hardly spoken at all and the two men did not push her. She seemed so fragile and Charlie was sure that she had lost more weight. He had hoped her friendship with Embry would improve her mood and for a while it seemed to be the case, but now there was tension in the air between them. He could not fail to notice that. He saw Embry glancing at Bella out of the corner of his eye as she moved about the room. The boy couldn't fail to hide his feelings. Charlie may be getting old but he knew the look of love when he saw it. He wondered if Bella knew about Embry's feelings and guessed that she did. The way the two of them had been interacting lately had changed. Charlie sighed as he spooned the delicious meal into his mouth. Why did life have to be so complicated?

XXXXXX

Embry and Bella sat on the back porch of the Swan house gazing out into the night. Neither had spoken very much; just let the awkward silences roll over them. Both too scared to start a proper conversation about what was bothering them. Embry felt scared, he could sense that he was losing Bella, their easy camaraderie was oozing away and he knew that it was because he had been pushing her beyond her limits lately. He just couldn't help it, he just loved her so much and the feelings consumed him. Embry had felt alone his whole life, he did not know who his father was, his mother refused to talk about it. It had been hard with just the two of them; money had always been tight as his mother found it hard to keep a job for more than a couple of months at a time. Without the sanctuary of the Black's family home Embry did not know how he would have survived. He hung his head and took a deep breath. He needed to tell Bella exactly what was on his mind, no more secrets. He was tired of them.

"Bella I need to speak to you..." He said softly.

Bella pulled herself out of her daydreams and turned to face him, her eyes were full of trepidation. She guessed he was going to be frank about how he felt and she was panicked about how to deal with it. She did not want to hurt him. "Go on..." she whispered.

Embry raised his head and carefully took both of her hands in his own. He was grateful that she did not pull away. Keeping his voice steady he told her what was in his heart. "You know that I am in love with you, Bella. I know that you are still a long way from being able to reciprocate my feelings but I didn't want to hide how I really felt about you anymore. I just need to be honest and hope that one day you might feel the same. I swear this is not me pressuring you and if you just need me to be your friend than that is what I will be. I just couldn't pretend anymore..." his voice tailed off as he watched her reaction carefully.

Bella swallowed nervously. She saw the worry and love all mixed together over Embry's face. It made her heart hurt to know that she was hurting him but she was so confused and her emotions were all over the place. He had been brave enough to be honest; she owed him the same courtesy. "I know how you feel and I respect you for putting yourself out there. I am a mess Embry; I can't even begin to understand how I feel about anything or anyone. I don't want to hurt you and I cannot promise you anything. You need to move on Embry, I am no good for you. You deserve better..."

Embry reached out and gently touched her cheek. He ran his fingers over her smooth skin before she pulled back. "I can't move on and I don't deserve better. I can be patient. I can wait..."

His words sounded something like what Jacob used to say when she was dithering about committing to him. The difference was she always knew that she was in love with him. She just needed a little push to see what was right before her. A burning ache in her chest made her breathing become short as she pictured Jacob's beloved face in her mind. Bella stood up and paced in front of Embry as she tried to sort through her whirling emotions. "I don't want to hurt you..." she whispered again.

"That is a chance I am willing to take Bella. I am not going anywhere and whatever happens I will always be your friend..." He promised rashly.

Bella looked up at him from her luminous brown eyes. "Really?" She questioned.

"Yes, really..." Embry stood up and gently embraced her. Bella stopped herself from pulling away and laid her head on his chest listening to the rapid beat of his heart.

XXXXXX

Quil was just about to head for bed when he saw Embry emerge from the shadows. "This better be good Em, I have just completed a ten hour patrol and I am tired."

"I need to talk to you about something..." Embry replied urgently.

The tone of his voice made Quil pause. "What is it? Is this about Bella again?"

"No, it's about Seth Clearwater."

"What's he done now?" Quil asked irritably.

"I was over at Bella's today and he was there..." Embry began.

Quil rolled his eyes. "Here we go again. I thought you said this wasn't about Bella. What has baby Clearwater done now?"

"This is not about Bella. It is the fact that the one who was responsible for Jake's death is trying to take over. He issued an Alpha command on me today and I felt it, Quil. Look how tall the boy is and how much muscle he has packed on. Just like Jake did at his age. I won't stand for it Quil, if he challenges Sam for the leadership I will fight him for it." He vowed grimly.

Quil regarded him seriously. "If it comes to that then I will be right by your side, bro..." he promised.

Embry gave him a relieved smile. "I knew that I would have your support. We need to talk to Sam..."

Quil nodded his agreement. "We do, but can we leave it until the morning. I am ready to drop."

Embry felt his impatience getting the better of him. He was dying to talk to his Alpha about it now and warn him about his fears. However Quil's obvious exhaustion pierced through his reverie and he nodded his head. "First thing tomorrow then..."

"Yeah..." Quil agreed tiredly. He bid his friend goodnight and headed straight for his bed, wondering what the hell was going to happen now.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading!**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Fourteen-Bella's Confession**

Sam was disturbed by a frantic knocking on his front door. He sighed irritably as he untangled himself from Leah and rolled out of bed. The knocking continued as he fumbled around trying to pull on his shorts. "Alright I'm coming..."

Leah pulled a pillow over her head. "Get rid of them Sam..." she moaned.

"I will babe; I will be right back..." Sam marched toward the front door and yanked it open. He was surprised to see Quil and Embry on his doorstep, both wearing serious expressions. "What is it?" He asked in alarm.

"We need to talk, it's about Seth..." Embry said bluntly.

Sam frowned as he ran a hand through his short hair. "What about him? I warned you both to lay off him."

"We haven't done anything..."Embry scowled. "I think he is going to challenge you for leadership of the pack."

A strange expression crossed Sam's face at this declaration. "What makes you think that?" He asked carefully.

"I was over at Bella's yesterday and he was there. I told him to stay away from her but he... I don't know how to describe it. His whole demeanour changed when I challenged him. I could feel the power from him as he tried to issue an order. I tell you Sam the boy is up to something, We need to..." Embry stopped talking as the door was pulled open wider to reveal a very pissed off looking Leah.

"Where the fuck do you get off saying things like that about my brother, Embry Call? You need to just butt out and leave him and Bella alone..." she yelled at him.

"Me? Your baby brother is the one who needs to give Bella space. Every time my back is turned he is round there bothering her. Every time she sees him she is reminded about what happened to Jake..." He shot back at her.

"That's bullshit and you know it. I actually think it is the other way around. You are the one who needs to back off, you don't own her Embry." Leah said fiercely.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Sam's voice thundered loudly and they all suddenly fell silent as the force of his alpha command rendered them speechless. He glared around at each of them, even Leah. "Fighting like this amongst ourselves is doing no one any good. I am calling a pack meeting for tomorrow evening. Everyone will be in attendance including Seth. So I suggest until we are all in the same room you keep quiet about our conversation this morning. Do I make myself clear?"

The three of them nodded reluctantly in agreement, they couldn't go against his order even if they wanted to. Sam looked steadily at Embry and Quil. "Now if you don't mind, Lee and I need our sleep as we have been up all night on patrol. Embry shouldn't you be meeting up with Jared about now?"

"Yes, I'm going." He said bitterly. He gave Leah a dark look before striding away quickly, Quil following closely behind.

When they were out of earshot Leah rounded on Sam. "Why the hell did you silence me?"

Sam took hold of her shoulders and massaged them gently. "Because I did not want the truth coming out in the heat of the moment, it could have sparked off something we might not have been able to step back from. The tension between Seth and Embry is at breaking point as it is. When I let them know about Seth's future I want us all to be there together as a pack."

Leah felt her shoulders droop. She rested her head against Sam's chest. "I am worried for my brother." She admitted.

Sam didn't know what to say so he cradled her gently in his arms and led her back toward the bed, worry etched over his own face.

XXXXXX

Bella woke up from her latest dream to find herself covered in a sheen of sweat. She wiped her brow and untangled herself from the sheets. Sitting on the bed she tried to get her whirling emotions under control. She had been dreaming, not about Jake, but someone else. Normally her dreams would start out the same way with her chasing Jake and him walking away from her. Once she managed to catch up with him she would find that the tall, tan handsome figure was not Jake but someone else who was becoming as increasingly beloved. These new feelings completely threw her as she could no longer deny or hide from the truth.

"What am I going to do?" Bella whispered her voice full of despair. She desperately needed someone to talk to, bottling up her feelings was driving her crazy. She glanced around the room and her eyes fell on her cell phone. Hesitantly she flipped it open and dialled Leah's number. It rang for quite a while before Leah's tired voice answered.

"Lee, I am sorry to disturb you but I really need to talk. Can you come over?" Bella pleaded.

She heard Leah conferring with someone, probably Sam, before she answered her. "Yeah give me an hour. I can't stay too long Bella I have been up all night on patrol..."

Bella felt guilty at disturbing her friends much needed rest. "I am sorry maybe we can..."

"No, don't worry. I haven't seen you for a few days it will be good to catch up. Sam will drop me off soon, okay." Leah interjected quickly. Bella sounded desperate and Leah did not want to leave her stewing. Sleep could wait.

"Thanks Lee I really appreciate this..." Bella said softly as she ended the call. She flopped back on her bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to sort through her turbulent emotions.

XXXXXX

Both girls sat across from each other in the kitchen, cradling hot mugs of coffee. Leah waited patiently for Bella to begin talking. She could tell that her friend must have had some kind of revelation. Bella took a deep breath before looking up at Leah's concerned face. She gave her a wan smile. "Thanks for this; I just needed someone to talk to..."

Leah reached out and took Bella's cold hand in her warm grip. "It's okay girl, just lay it on me."

Bella bit her bottom lip nervously before finally revealing the truth. "God don't hate me Lee but I think I have feelings for someone." She confessed hurriedly.

Leah regarded her intently. "Go on..." she urged.

"I...I don't know how it happened, it has been such a gradual thing. It started with us just spending some time together, just talking you know. I mean he is so sweet and kind. Jeez, I can't believe I am about to say this but Lee I think I am in..."

"Love with my brother. You are talking about Seth, aren't you?" Leah asked her gently, still holding on to her hand.

"How do you know? Have I made it that obvious?" Bella gasped in embarrassment.

"Calm down Bella. No I found out when we were in Florida. You talked in your sleep one night and kept saying his name. You sounded so happy and you were smiling..." Leah told her.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Bella demanded her pale cheeks flushed.

Leah raised her eyebrows. "Girlfriend it was none of my business. You needed to figure things out in your own time. You were not in the right frame of mind to hear that and probably would have denied everything anyway."

Bella hung her head, hiding behind her long hair. She fiddled with her mug before taking a sip of the hot liquid. "I feel so guilty Lee and Seth is so young..." she mumbled.

"There is no need to feel guilty Bella about moving on and developing feelings for someone. It was bound to happen eventually. Jake would not want you to be alone." Leah stated firmly."And my brother is heading for eighteen. He damn well looks and acts older than both of us anyway. I don't know where he gets his common sense from..."

"I know how he feels about me Lee. I heard him say it, he thought I was asleep but I wasn't..." Bella interjected.

Leah felt stunned. "Is that what made you realise your own feelings?" She asked eventually.

"No, I have been having these dreams..." Bella's pale skin turned even redder.

Leah couldn't hide her smile. She released Bella's hand, patting it quickly before drinking some of her coffee. "It's okay Bella I won't ask you for details. Are you going to let Seth know about how you feel?"

Bella sighed and shook her head no. "I am not ready for that just yet, besides I have to talk to Embry and tell him that we can only ever be friends." She grimaced when she thought about hurting Embry. She could already picture the hurt and betrayal in his eyes.

"That's not going to be easy. He has been acting very territorial where you are concerned. He still blames Seth for what happened. Can I ask you a favour?" Leah said carefully.

Bella looked surprised. "What favour?"

"Can you hold off telling Embry until after tomorrow..."

"Why?"

Leah did not want to reveal the details about the pack meeting. She could see how stressed her friend was already. "It's just that we have a pack meeting in the morning and it would be easier if Embry was not upset...you know how volatile things are right now." She hedged.

Bella eyed her suspiciously. "Leah, what are you hiding?"

"Nothing..."

"I am not an idiot. What is going on?" Bella demanded.

"I can't tell you all the details but it will be a tense meeting anyway with Seth, Quil and Embry in the same place, Sam has been keeping them all separate when we patrol." Leah shot back at her.

Bella felt guilty as she saw how worried her friend was. "Alright, I'll hold off on speaking to Embry for the time being until things cool down a bit. You are right things are tense enough within the pack without me causing more trouble."

"Thanks Bella." Leah said in relief.

The sound of a horn outside startled them both. Leah turned regretfully to Bella. "That's Sam come to pick me up."

"Thanks for listening, Lee..." Bella gripped her hand briefly as she followed her friend toward the door.

Leah gave her a warm hug before bidding her goodbye and slipping out of the house.

XXXXXX

Bella was going through the household bills, a chore she hated. Her dad was not one to keep anything in order. She found credit card receipts and unpaid paper bills scattered about the house. She was determined to speak to him about his haphazard way of dealing with money. She was getting fed up of having to be the one to keep track of it all, she often wondered how he had managed before she came back to live at home. A knock at the door made her groan, more interruptions...

She rose from her seat and reluctantly answered the door, gasping in surprise when she saw a bedraggled looking Angela Weber on her doorstep. Her old school friend was supposed to be in college. "Ange, what's happened?"

"Oh Bella it's all gone wrong...please I need somewhere to stay. I know this is short notice but can I..."

Bella did not hesitate. She ushered Angela inside and helped her take off her wet coat. Her friend sounded so miserable. Bella led her into the warm house to dry off, wondering what the hell had happened.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading! **_


	15. Chapter 15

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-Hey everyone, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews you left on the last chapter. I have been busy catching up on my assignments today so have not been able to reply personally like I normally do. **_

_**Just to answer the question about Embry and whether he will imprint on Angela. That can't happen in this story as he has already met Angela in the past when he had already phased, if he was going to imprint on her it would have happened back then. I hope that helps! The same goes for Seth if anyone is worried about him imprinting on Angela too. **_

_**Thanks again everyone, on with the story...**_

**Part Fifteen-Alpha**

Angela cried in Bella's arms as she revealed what a miserable time she was having in college. Being a rather shy and quiet girl she had found it hard to mix. She was often alone and left on the sidelines, even though she tried her best to be included. As each day passed Angela admitted that she was getting more homesick. Even though she found her courses fairly interesting it was not enough to combat the constant loneliness and rejection she got from others. She had tried to talk to her parents about it but her father, who was rather strict, insisted that she needed to get over this nonsense and plod along. In the end Angela had become so desperate that she had literally just walked out of her last class and started on the journey back to Forks. When she had arrived unexpectedly at home a huge row had ensued resulting in her father ordering her back to college. She had refused and so it was she found herself wandering about in the rain until she had found herself outside the Swan's house.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay?" Angela checked again, her cheeks were sore from all the crying she had done.

Bella stroked her friend's hair gently. "Of course, anytime. You do know that you will have to talk to your parents again eventually though."

Angela sighed. "I know. It's just so hard to get through to my dad. I am a homebody at heart Bella. I did not want to go to college in the first place. My idea of a future is marrying a nice man and making a home. I am not ambitious like some. I would have been happy working in the local library...pathetic, isn't it?" she said sadly.

Bella smiled. "We are all different Ange. Look at me still working in Newton's, no career path to speak of..."

"You have lost someone you love, Bella. That's only to be expected..."Angela said softly, she dried her eyes and sat up regarding her friend carefully. "How are you really? I am sorry to dump this all on you."

"It's okay, really. I have my good and bad days but I am getting through it. Now you look completely exhausted. Let me just get you some dry clothes to..." Bella stopped talking as there was another knock at the door. "Who can that be?" She wondered. Maybe Leah had forgotten something. "I won't be a second."

Angela gave her an understanding smile as she went to answer the door. She was stunned to find Embry on her doorstep; he was holding a bunch of wildflowers which he handed to her as soon as she opened the door. "Thanks...I wasn't expecting you today..."

Embry gave her a big grin. "I just finished my patrol shift and had a few hours to kill before I meet up with the others tonight..."

"Oh the pack meeting..." Bella interjected.

Embry frowned. "How did you know about that?"

"Oh Leah was over earlier, she mentioned it in passing." Bella said vaguely.

"Did she tell you what it was about?" Embry asked suspiciously.

Bella looked at him intently. "No she didn't. Is there something I should know?"

"Nah..." Embry tried to appear nonchalant. "Just routine stuff..."

"Yeah right..." Bella replied disbelievingly. "Look Embry my friend Angela Weber has turned up unexpectedly. Maybe we can do this another time..."

Embry tried to hide his disappointment. He vaguely recalled Angela, a shy quiet girl with glasses. He remembered Bella telling him that the girl had a crush on him. Before he could answer the girl herself emerged from the kitchen, her dark hair was plastered to her head and he could clearly see that she had been crying.

As soon as Angela caught sight of him her whole face flushed red, she gave him a tremulous smile. "Hello, good to see you Em...Embry..." she stumbled over his name.

Embry flashed her a quick grin before turning his attention back onto Bella. "Well how about I come over after the meeting and take both you girls out for a pizza or something to welcome Angela back to Forks..."

Bella's face lit up at the suggestion. She thought it was such a kind thing to do, as she glanced back at her friend she saw a hopeful look shine briefly in Angela's eyes before she bid Embry goodbye and disappeared back into the kitchen. It was obvious that her friend still had a crush on Embry,

"That's good of you Embry, Angela has been feeling homesick. It will do her good to get out and have some fun." Bella thanked him gratefully. She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you later Em and thanks again for the flowers."

Embry felt happiness surge through him at her words. He longed to take her in his arms and hold her, but instead he just smiled at her. "I'm glad you like the flowers. I'll call you when I leave the meeting, okay."

"Okay..." Bella agreed. "See you tonight."

"Yeah, see you tonight Bella." Embry watched as she closed the door before leaving. He hopped lightly down each step, happiness radiating through him. He felt like things were finally getting back on track between them. It might not be an intimate dinner for two but at least he would get to spend some time with her, even with her friend there.

XXXXXX

Everyone gathered at Sam's small house dead on six o'clock. Paul and Jared lounged on the sofa, throwing bits of food at each other as they devoured the contents of Sam's cupboards. Seth stood by himself at the back of the room, staring thoughtfully into space. Leah and Sam sat huddled together on the only armchair in the small living room. Quil and Embry were the last to make an appearance, as soon as they entered the house the atmosphere changed as everyone tensed. Seth was pulled out of his reverie as he felt Embry and Quil glare at him. He refused to be intimidated as he just stared back at them challengely. He was surprised to see that both Quil and Embry dropped their eyes from his first. He pondered why this was; they had not had any problems staring him down in the past.

Sam was watching their interactions carefully and a smirk played about his lips. What he had just witnessed between the three of them was a sure sign that Seth was destined to be a leader. Only an Alpha male would have been able to make another pack brother drop their eyes in acquiescence as their inner wolves instinctively succumbed to their leader. Sam knew that Quil and Embry were probably pondering this at that very moment if their puzzled gazes were anything to go by. Seth's face was unreadable. Sam couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Well now that everyone is here, we better get started." Sam glanced around the room. Leah slipped off of his lap and onto the floor, sitting by his legs.

"Is this going to take long?" Paul complained. "I have a date with a very attractive lady and I don't want to keep her waiting if you know what I mean..." He winked at everyone and they all gave him dirty looks. Jared threw more food at him.

"Be serious Lahote this is important." Sam's tone made them all turn in his direction and look at him intently. He glanced around at each pack member before continuing. "I am just going to say this bluntly, as of today I am stepping down as Alpha of this pack."

There were collective gasps around the room as everyone stared at him in shock. Paul was the first to break the silence. "What the fuck do you mean? This is not just some sort of job you can resign from..." he said angrily. "Does this have something to do with Leah?"

"This has nothing to do with Leah," Sam said coldly. He placed a hand on her shoulder to make sure Leah kept quiet. He did not need a slanging match between her and Paul right now. "It is a decision that I have not taken lightly. I was never meant to be the Alpha, the first time I took on the role was because I was the first to phase and I had no choice. I was relieved when Jacob took up his birthright and stepped up as leader. As you know when this happened the pack became more fluid, there was no longer any conflict between us and we all worked better as a team. "

Sam stood up as he continued to speak, all eyes glued to his every movement. "When Jake died, I took over again because it just seemed the thing to do, we needed someone to be in charge and you were all used to my leadership. You all have to admit though we have all lost our edge. I am no Jacob Black...however recently there has been another contender for the title of Alpha. I was unaware of the change at first, but recently I have seen him come into his own and I already know that a couple of you have sensed it too." Sam looked pointedly at Embry and Quil who glared back at him.

"Just tell us who you mean?" Jared interjected irritably.

"Yeah...what he said..." Paul echoed him.

Sam exchanged a quick glance with Leah before finally revealing who he meant. "I am talking about Seth Clearwater..." he said quietly.

XXXXXX

The ruckus was ear-splitting as the pack erupted with anger at this suggestion. They all surrounded Sam, yelling and demanding an explanation for his outrageous claim. He had been expecting this; he listened to them stoically as they hurled their complaints and disgust at him. Only Seth stood back, his arms crossed as he leaned back against the wall. He watched his pack brothers as though they were actors in a film, he felt removed from them like he wasn't quite a part of the action. A gentle touch on his arm pulled him out of his funk. He glanced down to see his sister by his side.

"Are you alright?" She whispered worriedly.

Seth stood up so that he was towering above her. It still shocked Leah to see how tall and majestic her once baby brother now was. He had grown into a strong, handsome, intelligent man."I will be. It's about time I stood up to this lot..."

As he began to walk toward the others, Leah caught hold of his arm. "Seth, what are you planning to do?" She asked worriedly.

"Something I should have done a long time ago. Don't worry Lee; it will all work out..."

Leah let go of his arm and watched as he approached his pack brothers, they were still voicing their opinions about Sam's announcement and were unaware that Seth was standing directly behind them. He heard Quil start on his usual spiel about how he was responsible for the loss of Jake. He felt his anger rise in him and he yelled out a command for them all to remain silent. The order hit them all with brute force, each one felt themselves turning to face Seth Clearwater, unable to fight a direct Alpha command. He stared each one of them down until they all dropped their eyes in acquiescence unable to look their new leader directly in the eyes.

Seth felt different, stronger, more in control. When Sam had spoken out loud the words that he was the next contender for Alpha it had brought home to him what he already knew within his heart. This had been bubbling up for weeks, he had been dampening down the feelings to take over and take charge. Every time Sam had issued a command of late, Seth had to force himself to comply. It seemed that Sam had already known of his inner battle. He glanced over at his former Alpha and they exchanged wry smiles of understanding.

"I know that a lot of you are unhappy and deem me unworthy of the title of Alpha..." He looked over at the resentful faces of Embry and Quil. I understand that you still blame me for the loss of Jacob Black and for quite a while I agreed with you, but none of you were there at the time. You have no idea what a desperate situation we were both in." Seth said calmly. "I have never shown you what happened that night through my thoughts, how it really was. You have only seen flashes of my memories, well maybe it's time you saw it all."

"Seth, are you sure about this?" Leah asked softly.

"Yes, it needs to be done. You all need to see the bigger picture otherwise we will all fall apart." He watched everyone's reactions carefully. "Are you all ready to follow me and see the truth?" He asked them all.

Sam followed by Paul and then Jared approached him, they all nodded their assent. Seth gave then a grateful smile. His eyes travelled back to Quil and Embry who were hesitating. "I am not going to force you to witness losing Jacob again; it is your choice alone." He said to them both earnestly.

Quil and Embry exchanged a look; a tense few seconds passed before they too stepped forward and joined the others. Seth breathed a sigh of relief. "Come, we will all need to phase and then I will show you my memories."

In single file they all followed Seth out of Sam's house and into the surrounding forest. It took them moments to phase into their wolf forms. The seven wolves faced off against each other, their breaths showing white in the frigid air. Seth's wolf looked them each in the eye one last time before he closed his and went back in time to the day that he and Jacob went on that fateful patrol; one by one the other's followed him and saw what happened through his eyes...

_**A/N-The next chapter will be about what happened on the day that Seth and Jacob got ambushed, it is going to be a sad one, sighs. Thanks for reading! **_


	16. Chapter 16

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-here we go everyone, tissues at the ready...sobs! :(**_

**Part Sixteen-Agony**

Jacob took the lead as he and Seth wandered slowly through the thickening forest toward the outer borders of La Push. It was very remote and particularly overgrown around this area and far away from any human habitation. It was not a place frequented by any of the tribe. When any of the pack patrolled this area it was always in two's, this part of La Push had a history attached to it for strange goings on, some of the tribe considered it haunted and it was said that evil resided there. The pack outwardly dismissed this as superstitions nonsense, but still they were wary when they were forced to circumnavigate and check the area.

That night it felt particularly ominous. The usual night sounds of wildlife were muted and the hackles rose up on Jacob and Seth's backs as they sensed that something was amiss. Jacob had been daydreaming about Bella, Seth had seen a brief glimpse of an engagement ring flash through Jacob's mind and he guessed that his Alpha and friend was about to propose. He was just going to tease Jake about it when he saw his Alpha freeze on the spot. Both of the wolves' ears perked forward as they listened intently for any sound of movement. It was quiet, too quiet.

"Get down..." Jacob told Seth as he dropped onto his belly and began to edge forward into the dense undergrowth. Seth immediately followed Jacob's lead and they both pushed their large bodies through the thickets, the sharp thorns pulling at their coats. The air was thick with menace and even though they could not see or smell anything, both of them instinctively knew that there was danger ahead.

"What do you think it is?" Seth thought worriedly.

"I can't tell...it's just a gut instinct, the atmosphere doesn't feel right..." Jacob moved closer to the edge of the thicket, peering out into the gloom to try and get a better view. "I haven't felt this jumpy since the newborn battle."

"Do you think that there are cold ones around? I mean we would smell them, right?" Seth pressed, beginning to feel dread wash over him.

"Don't forget that some of these leeches are talented Seth, some have the ability to hide their scents and they might be downwind of us."Jacob was getting frustrated that he could not see anything. Like Seth he felt the apprehension of the unknown creeping up on him and he was fearful about what they might face. He turned his head to look at his younger pack brother. "You need to stay here under cover Seth. Whatever you see or hear do not come out, okay. I am going to scout on ahead and try and see what is going on..."

"No," Seth interjected fearfully. "We should stick together, let me come with you."

"I said stay here Seth. Leah would never forgive me if anything happened to you..." He pictured a pissed off Leah in his head, trying to abate Seth's fears. It didn't work.

"Jake please, I have a bad feeling about letting you go off alone..."Seth tried again to persuade his Alpha to let him accompany him.

"Don't make me order you to stay, Seth. I will be less conspicuous scouting the trail ahead by myself." Jacob advised.

Seth knew what Jacob was saying was wise but he still thought in the back of his mind that they should stay together. However Jacob was the leader and he had told him already that he was prepared to issue an order for him to stay put. Seth acquiesced to Jacob's wishes and remained hidden within the depths of the thicket as Jacob crawled out on his belly and disappeared within the trees. Seth did not know how long he lay hidden, he tried to count the beats of his heart to ascertain the time, but it was beating so rapidly due to his increasing anxiety that he gave up. Time seemed to pass slowly as his foreboding increased. Why was Jacob taking so long? He kept debating whether to slip out and track his Alpha down but he had to trust Jacob's instincts. He had told Seth to remain hidden, so that was what he would do...

XXXXXX

It all happened so fast that at this point some of the events became blurred in Seth's mind. He recalled hearing a faint noise and getting the slightest whiff of the dreaded scent of a cold one. His whole body tensed as he edged nearer the opening of the thicket so he could peer out. His first instinct was to burst out of hiding and track down the leech and attack, but the rational part of his mind jumped into action, he could not be reckless. He needed to see just how many leeches he could be facing. There was still no sign of Jacob and he began to panic.

The sickening scent of rotting meat laced with a strong dose of perfume assaulted Seth's nostrils. His whole body shuddered as he became nauseous. The smell surrounded him on all sides and he could now hear high pitched voices and malicious laughter renting the air. He tried to focus his mind as he listened and counted the different voices he could hear. There were at least five distinct tones. Some were coming in front of him and some from behind. He was trapped between them. Through the dense thicket his keen eyes picked out the dirty bare feet that must belong to the leeches. He watched as they circled the thicket in which he was hiding and discussed in low voices about the best way to flush him out. They knew he was there.

It was at this point that Jacob's loud wolf howl rendered the air, calling out desperately for his pack to join him. They were under attack and heavily outnumbered. Without back up Seth knew that they were both doomed.

XXXXXX

Seth stayed rooted to the spot as he heard the leeches coming up with various scenarios on the best way to get him out of his hiding place. The thicket he was in covered a wide area and was dense, sharp thorns and brambles made it especially difficult to negotiate a way through without tearing out fur or ripping the skin. The cold ones would have to rip it apart to get to him. If they crawled through he would be able to fend them off with his sharp teeth and claws. It seemed that they did not want to risk losing limbs. He heard one say that the red wolf had already torn apart two of their compatriots. Seth knew that Jacob was strong and agile; he would take down as many as he could before they got to him. This emboldened Seth as he heard another angry howl erupt from his leader's throat. A loud scuffling followed by curses reached Seth's ears, the sound of a bone snapping and another growl indicated that Jacob was now close.

Seth debated whether it was now time to move out of his hiding place. Surely Jake had not meant him to stay here now that they had both been discovered. He knew that the pack would be on their way, he wanted to help his Alpha, and Jake must be tiring by now. In the end the decision was taken out of his hands. He heard movement behind him and as he glanced back he saw three of the cold ones crawling through the undergrowth, it seemed that they had decided to gang up and come for him that way after all. It was time to move.

As fast as he could Seth crawled his way out of the dense thicket, the thorns tearing at his fur as he finally reached the opening and burst out into the dark night. Utter chaos greeted him as he saw Jacob surrounded by two of the cold ones, fighting them off simultaneously. The red wolf snapped his jaws around the neck of the smaller of the two and yanked it off easily, tossing it as far away from him as possible. Seth immediately went to his Alpha's aid, taking on the remaining vampire, a part of him wanting to make Jacob proud of him.

"Seth I told you to stay hidden..." Jacob's angry tone resonated through his mind.

"I couldn't stay in there any longer, the other three leeches began crawling in from the other side..." he informed him.

The remaining leech saw his companion fall to the ground once the red wolf had torn away his head. He caught sight of another wolf emerging from the dense thicket; this one was smaller than the russet red wolf and appeared younger. The vampire knew that his other comrades had decided to go after this wolf and flush him out of hiding; it seemed that their plan had worked. A wicked grin crossed his red lips, making his pale features seem even more menacing in the dark night. He, and his now beheaded companion, had been sent to distract the red wolf. He had done his duty. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his other companions emerge swiftly from the thicket. Taking a spur of the moment decision the vampire decided to attack the smaller wolf.

Seth was taken by surprise by the leeches sudden move, he hardly had time to defend himself from the razor sharp teeth as the large vampire caught him around the middle and began to squeeze. The air was knocked form his lungs as he tumbled backwards onto the ground. One of the other vampires joined in, grabbing hold of one of his flailing legs and tugging hard. The sound of snapping bone rent the air. The two vampires had him pinned to the ground unable to move, their maniacal laughter sending chills through his body.

Seth heard Jacob let out a loud roar and he saw his Alpha's body sail over him and knock one of the vampires away from him. Air rushed back into Seth's lungs as the stranglehold on his body was released. Still he wasn't out of danger yet, the other vampire kicked him in the side and broke another one of his paws, Seth howled in agony unable to get to his feet to defend himself.

"Hold on Seth, I am coming..." Jacob's calming voice soothed his feverish mind as pain overtook him. Seth saw Jacob circling behind the cold one who was attacking him and his Alpha managed to get a good hold around its neck. The vampire screamed out in rage as it used its arms to hit Jacob repeatedly. Seth managed to move his head as he watched helplessly while Jacob fought. But there were too many of them, to Seth's horror he saw the other two vampires come to their comrades aid and jump on Jacob grabbing hold of his fur and pulling him to the ground. Jacob let out another loud roar as he fought desperately to free himself but it was not enough. One of the leeches got a hold of his neck and sank his teeth into him. Seth heard Jacob whimper in pain as his body became rigid and he slumped to the ground.

"NOOOO Jake, hold on..."Seth pleaded but it was to no avail.

With two broken legs Seth could not rise to his feet and he waited in despair for the leeches to finish him off too. It was at this point that the rest of the pack burst through the trees...

XXXXXX

Seth opened his eyes and stared around at the pack. They were all still standing in a circle, silent and completely stunned. No one moved or made a sound for some time as they all tried to absorb the horror of what they had just witnessed through Seth's thoughts. It was the first time that they had seen the full extent of what had happened.

Surprisingly it was Embry who was the first to make a move. He approached Seth slowly and looked him squarely in the eyes before dropping his gaze. "I am sorry, I see now. There was nothing you could have done. I was wrong..." he admitted quietly through the shared mind link.

Seth felt a lead weight that had been dragging him down snap. He touched his head to Embry's briefly before turning back to the others. "Let's go home..." he suggested quietly. There was nothing more anyone could say, he had shown them enough.

Slowly, with Seth in the lead, the pack followed him back to Sam's house, their minds and hearts weighed down with all that they had witnessed.

XXXXXX

Bella opened the door to the house with a smile on her face; it soon disappeared when she saw Embry standing on her doorstep, his face wet with tears. He looked broken. "What's happened? Embry what's wrong?" She asked desperately. "Is someone hurt?"

Embry shook his head. "No, I just...I was wrong Bella, so wrong..."he choked on his words, the images of Jacob's demise still fresh in his mind.

Before Bella could say anything Angela appeared by her side. Her eyes opened wide when she caught sight of Embry. "Has something happened?" She asked in alarm.

"Ange I know that we were meant to go out tonight but err...Embry has had bad news. I need to go off to La Push for a while. Do you mind if we cancel tonight?" Bella said quickly before Angela could ask anymore.

Angela looked between them briefly before agreeing. "Of course, I hope that whatever is wrong can be sorted out..." she said softly. She gave Embry an affectionate glance before leaving them both alone.

Bella grabbed a coat and then rejoined Embry on the doorstep, closing the door after her. "What happened?" She asked him again gently.

Embry raised his tear stained face to hers, reaching out he took her hand and led her away from the house so that they were out of sight of any passersby. When they were alone he held her hand to his cheek and closed his eyes again, trying to pull himself together. "I was wrong Bella. It wasn't Seth's fault..."

Bella gazed up at him. She felt relieved, finally he was letting go of his resentment toward Seth. "I'm glad you see it that way Embry. There was nothing that Seth could have done, there were just too many of them..."

Embry nodded, more tears leaked out of his eyes. Bella felt the wetness run over her hand which was still pressed to his cheek. "This is a good thing Embry; you can finally grieve for Jake properly. Your unfounded resentment stopped you from letting go..." she said softly.

"It hurts, Bella. Jake was my best friend, no more like my brother. I miss him..." Embry's shoulders started shaking as he let out his grief. Bella pulled her hand away from his cheek and slipped an arm around his waist while she pulled his head down onto her shoulder.

"I know Embry, I know..." she whispered as she held onto him tight as she felt wetness running down her own face as she cried along with him.

_**A/N-That was so sad...I really hope I did this story justice. It was hard writing this chapter. Please let me know what you think, thanks. **_


	17. Chapter 17

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Seventeen-Seth's Revelation**

The days drifted by faster than Bella expected. Angela stayed with her for two weeks before she finally plucked up the courage to face her parents once again. It seemed that Mr and Mrs Weber had calmed down after their initial angry outburst and they begged Angela to come back home. They promised to listen to what she wanted for her future and try to help her instead of pushing her in the direction that they wanted her to go. Bella was happy for her friend but sorry to see her go, she had enjoyed having her friend around. It was nice to have another female to talk to since Leah was often busy with Sam or out on patrol. Still Angela would be staying in Forks and this meant that Bella could still see her whenever she wanted.

Another reason why Bella was reluctant to see her friend return home was that she acted as a buffer between herself and Embry. It was becoming apparent that he was struggling to hold to his earlier promise to just be friends. Bella knew that she had been naive to think otherwise. Since his emotional release a weight seemed to have been lifted from his shoulders, he appeared more relaxed and happier. She loved seeing him smile and laugh more and not act so serious and preoccupied. A lot of it had to do with the fact that the pack was more united under Seth's leadership. Sam had been right in his prediction that he had been destined to be the new Alpha.

Leah and Bella had been looking into the bloodlines of the tribe to see if there was a genetic reason that it had befallen on him instead of say Quil, whose family history went back a long way and had always held a position of high importance within the tribe. After two days of extensive research into the Clearwater family tree they discovered a connection between the Black family and the Clearwater's. It seemed that a distant cousin of one of Leah's father Harry's ancestors had married a cousin of the Alpha of the last pack, Ephraim Black. They could only assume that through this marriage the gene had been passed down and become stronger due to the fact that both families carried the werewolf gene.

They eagerly told Seth about this revelation, he had smiled vaguely at them and said it really didn't matter how it had happened. He seemed distracted and very tired. He had left them to get some rest. Leah had informed Bella that her brother had been taking the majority of the patrols, bearing the burden to give the others a much needed break. Bella had expressed her concern over this but Leah had shrugged her shoulders and said that Seth was in charge now and no one could overrule him. Bella had thought once again that he was as stubborn as Jake used to be.

XXXXXX

Today Bella was determined to make Seth take a rest and relax. After conspiring with Leah, she had asked her friend to tell Seth that she needed to see him urgently. He was due on patrol but Bella knew that he would ignore that to come to her aid. She hated duping him like this but knew that he would be stubborn and make an excuse if she confronted him directly about taking a break. Leah had promised she and Sam would take Seth's place on patrol. So with her plan in place, Bella made up a picnic and waited for Seth to arrive.

Right on cue ten minutes later she heard a frantic knocking on her door and Seth calling out her name. "Bella, open up, please..."

Bella quickly ran toward the door but unfortunately tripped on the edge of the rug running along the hall, she fell onto the wooden floor and let out a loud yelp. She heard Seth call out her name again in alarm. The breath had been knocked from her body so she could not answer him straight away. She heard him curse when he got no response and to her shock he kicked at the door so that it flew open. He was by her side in an instant, picking her up off the floor and cradling her in his arms as he took her into the living room and laid her gently on the couch.

"What happened, Bella? Leah told me you needed to see me right away and then I come here and find you lying on the floor?" He questioned her, his words tumbling out as he began to run his hands over her, checking for broken bones.

Bella finally managed to draw a breath. "You kicked the door in..." she gasped.

Seth glanced up at her through his long lashes. "Duh, what else was I supposed to do? I don't have a key..."

"No..." Bella said briefly, running out of words. Seth was holding her ankle examining it for broken bones. His touch was proving to be very distracting. She felt her cheeks heat up and cursed her pale skin which always gave her away.

"I'm okay Seth...I'm not hurt." She said in the end. She couldn't take it anymore. The more he touched her, the more she felt like she was going to burst into flames. She hadn't experienced those sorts of feelings in a while. She needed to take a step back.

Seth reluctantly took his hands away and instead knelt in front of her, gazing at her with concern. "What happened?" He asked again.

Bella gave him a rueful smile. "You won't be angry if I tell you the truth, will you?" She hedged.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked in confusion. "Lee told me you needed to see me desperately..."

"Well, to be honest Seth it was a ruse to get you over here..."

"Why would you need a ruse to get me to come here? All you needed to do was ask..." he felt totally bewildered now.

Bella shifted in her seat so that she was facing him, taking hold of his warm hands in her own she gave him another smile. "I've been worried about you. Lee told me how hard you have been working. I saw myself the other day how tired you've been, you were almost asleep on your feet. It's admirable that you want to take the burden off of the others and I know how grateful they are for it, but today Seth Clearwater I demand that you have a day off."

The beginnings of a grin began to form around Seth's lips as she spoke. She was so adorable, his eyes looked down at their joined hands and he felt a rare feeling of happiness course through him. "So you've been worried about me, huh?"

Bella nodded. "Yep, I even made a picnic packed full of your favourite food and drink..." she replied swiftly.

"How do you know what my fave foods are?" He questioned her teasingly. "Have you been grilling, Lee?"

The smile dropped from Bella's face as she stared at him in confusion. "No, I didn't ask Leah...I just knew..." she stopped speaking as she took in the enormity of what she was saying. Her grip on Seth's hands tightened.

Seth quickly got up and sat beside her as he watched the changing expression on her beautiful face. "Bella, its okay..." he said gently, slipping an arm over her shoulders. "It's okay..."

She looked up at him sadly. "How long have you known?" She asked him tremulously.

Seth let out a heavy sigh as he pulled her back with him and kept her close to his side. "Since that day that I came looking for you and found you at Jake's grave, I felt your despair. I sometimes get flashes of your feelings, especially when you are upset or panicked." He admitted.

Bella felt her earlier contentment fade away. "How has this happened? Why now?"

Seth did not answer her straight away, he felt the guilt wash over him as he pondered the best way to tell her. He felt her place a hand on his chest and he finally blurted out the truth he had been hiding from her and even himself, until now. "The Alpha of the pack has the freedom to choose who to love, the imprinting bond does not work the same way as it does for the others. Jake loved you all his life and that is why the two of you were so in synch with each other..."His voice tailed off as he watched her reaction intently. She seemed dazed.

"So that means that you..." She said eventually, pausing as she swallowed nervously.

"Yes it means that Jake was not the only one who has loved you all his life. Since the first moment I laid eyes on you, Bella you have been the only girl in my heart and my mind..." He admitted.

Bella bit her bottom lip in agitation. "Seth..." she whispered.

"I told myself that it was just a crush and for a long time I managed to convince myself that was what it was. You were happy with Jake and I was glad that you had found your soul mate. Just seeing you together confirmed that to me and everyone. When you and Jake officially became a couple I forced myself to try and look at other girls and try to interact with them. I even tried dating some of them but it felt meaningless...I am so sorry Bella..."

Bella felt weightless, like she was floating on water as she tried to take all of this in. Jake had never told her that as he was Alpha he was free to choose the woman who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Had he even known? "Did Jake know about the Alpha's freedom to choose?" She asked.

"Yes, why do you think after months of refusing to take up his birthright that he suddenly changed his mind? It was the only way to ensure that imprinting would never tear you apart like it did to Sam and my sister..." Seth said softly.

"He took that burden on for my sake..." she said in wonder.

Seth squeezed her shoulders and hugged her closer to his body. "He loved you so much Bella, he would have done anything to make you happy."

Tears began to leak out of her eyes and she wiped at them angrily. She glanced up at him again and saw the anguished look on his face. "Is that why you never protested when Sam told you about being the next Alpha? Leah told me that you just seemed to accept the transition unquestioningly..."

Slowly Seth nodded. "Yeah, even if you can't accept me Bella, I never wanted the worry about imprinting hanging over us. We have been through enough anxiety and fear. This way it will never be an issue..."

Bella tore her eyes away from him and stared into space, mulling over everything he had said. She knew that she had feelings for him; she had admitted that much to Leah. But was she ready to admit that to him? No...she was far from ready to do that just yet. There was still the issue of Embry's feelings for her to take into consideration. Bella finally looked up at his beloved face and gave him a wan smile. "This is all so much to take in Seth...I am thankful that you told me the truth, it puts things into much clearer perspective. I care for you a great deal, I think that is obvious, but I am far from ready to..."

Seth placed a finger over her lips to stop her talking. He gave her a wry smile. "I know Bella. I was not expecting anything. It's been a relief to get this off of my chest. Look, why don't we just not worry about the heavy stuff right now and go out on this picnic that you have been planning, huh?"

Bella gave him a grateful smile in return. "That's sounds like a good idea..."

Seth grinned at her before holding out his hand and pulling her up onto her feet. "I can't wait to see what you think my fave foods are?" he teased, lightening the atmosphere.

Bella laughed as she tugged on his hand and led him to the kitchen to show him the picnic...

_**A/N-Thanks for reading...**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Eighteen-Honesty**

Embry was picking out a present for Bella; he wanted something special to give to her to show how much she meant to him. As the weeks had passed he was sure he was making a breakthrough with her. Now the tension had eased within the pack due to Seth's leadership, everyone had become much more relaxed. He had drawn up a rota that made sure that each of them had a couple days off at a time. This eased the workload for each of them as it gave them time for proper rest and ensured they had some much needed personal time. Today was the start of Embry's two days off, Paul and Seth were taking over from him and Quil.

The shop assistant eyed Embry up and down, she was trying to catch his attention it was rare that such a good looking man visited the store. She fluffed up her short blonde hair and smoothed down the skirt of her uniform. "Hey, can I help you?" she asked him interrupting his reverie.

Embry was oblivious to her gaping, focused as he was on trying to choose something nice for Bella. "Err...I was looking for a present but I am not sure what to choose..." he admitted.

The shop assistant edged closer to him. "Well is it for a lady? Your mom perhaps?" She enquired, hoping that he was not going to say girlfriend or wife. She waited expectantly for his answer.

Embry finally looked up at her and shook his head. "Not for my mom, no...It's for a girl though..."

The shop assistant's face fell. "Oh someone special is it...your girlfriend?"

"Well, sort of..."

The shop assistant raised her eyebrows. "Only sort of? She must be mad if she hasn't snapped you up." She giggled at him, fluffing up her hair again. "You know if she is holding out there are plenty who would not say no. I mean I am available if you would like to go on a date..."

Embry regarded her coolly. She was quite pretty but not to his personal taste. She seemed more like someone Paul would go for. He gave her a smile. "Well I am not available, this girl means a lot to me. But I do have a friend who would love to take you out on a date."

The girl could not hide her disappointment. "Oh...well like I said, she is mad not to have snapped up a hunk like you. Is your friend as good looking as you? I mean I like a man to be well built and fit. You obviously work out, does he?"

Embry laughed at her brazenness. "Yep he sure does. His name is Paul by the way. What's yours?"

"Abigail..." she divulged. "Give him my cell phone number and I will check him out." She said tearing off a bit of paper and writing it down for him. "And if this girl of yours doesn't work out, give me a call..."

Embry gave her a grin as he took the number. "About this present..." he said changing the subject.

Abigail sighed regretfully giving him one last look up and down. It was a shame he was so wrapped up in this other girl, he was so hot!

XXXXXX

Bella sat behind the counter at Newton's Outfitter's and stared into space. She was so bored. She had been at work for a total of five hours and had served only one customer, all the stock checking and shelf filling had been done so there was nothing left to distract her. Seth wouldn't be able to stop by as he was on his two day patrol shift along with Paul. Now that he had openly admitted his feelings for her, they had both been spending more time together. Even if it was just a few brief snatched moments due to Seth's busy schedule they would check in with each other. Bella found that she was finding it harder and harder not to blurt out how much she cared for him. Ever since he had taken on the mantle of Alpha he had matured and seemed so confident and in control, a sexy combination along with his good looks.

She was holding back because of her residual guilt about moving on and also there was Embry. It had been hard for her to keep him at arm's length. Bella had made sure that she did not spend much time alone with him, and that they were always surrounded by at least one or two other people. Usually it was Sam and Leah, but a comment that Embry had made the night before had startled her. He made reference to the fact that they were double dating, implying that they were a couple, just like Sam and Leah. Bella had tried to brush this aside, hoping that he was just joking but she knew in her heart that he was serious. Embry was acting more and more like a boyfriend.

Bella sighed as she tried to sort through her tangled thoughts. She knew that it was time to make it clear to Embry that they would only ever be friends, but what about Seth? How would he be able to cope with the fact that she had feelings for his pack leader? Things had been going well for the pack; they were more cohesive and closer, just like they had been under Jacob's leadership. Bella felt a pain in her heart as she thought about Jake. It still hurt and she still yearned for him. She knew that she would never stop missing him. The pain had lessened with time but it would never completely leave her.

The sound of the shop bell ringing over the door pulled her out of her reverie. She had a customer. Glancing toward the front of the store she caught sight of Embry strolling toward her, a happy smile on his face. He seemed to be carrying some sort of gift under his arm. She wondered who it was for, it was nicely wrapped. Maybe it was his mother's birthday or something, although she couldn't recall him mentioning it.

"Hey Bella..." he greeted her as he reached the counter. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "How's work been? Seems dead in here at the moment."

Bella nodded. "Yeah it's been that way all day. I can't wait to get out of here today."

"Well I hope you haven't got anything planned for later as I thought it would be cool to take you out to dinner tonight." he suggested quickly.

"I am not sure that Sam and Lee can make it Embry." Bella said quickly. "Maybe we can rearrange it."

"Well we can still go out can't we?" He questioned.

Bella hesitated, trying to think of a reason to avoid being alone with him. She really did not want to give him the wrong idea about their friendship. "Maybe Angela can come with us if she is free." she finally suggested lamely.

A hurt look flashed across Embry's handsome face at her rejection and guilt once again swept over her. She really cared about him and hated seeing him upset. Knowing that it was probably a bad idea she let her guilt get in the way of her better judgement. "Forget what I just said. I think Ange is busy tonight anyway. Where do you want to go?"

Embry regarded her thoughtfully. "Bella, have I done something to upset you? I mean you seem distant?" He asked her with concern.

"No of course not, Embry..." Bella said quickly. "I just have a lot on my mind. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I'm sorry I know that I promised to stop pushing." Embry admitted. "I just like spending time with you that's all."

Bella reached out and caught hold of his hand. "It's alright Embry really. What time will you pick me up?"

Embry's face brightened as he held her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "How does eight o'clock sound?"

"That's great..." Bella replied slipping her hand back out of his.

"I'll see you later then..."

"Yeah, bye Embry." Bella gave him a small wave as she watched his tall figure walk out of the store.

XXXXXX

Quil looked at his best friend dubiously. Embry had just shown him the gift he had bought for Bella. "Dude, don't you think this is more a present you give to a girlfriend. I mean you're not dating her..."

Embry's expression darkened. He regretted showing the present to Quil now. "I just want to give her something special."

"Look Em, I am not prying but I know how you feel about Bella. I just don't want you to get hurt." Quil tried again. "I know that you are hoping that she will return your feelings but I don't think it's going to happen."

"You don't know that." Embry shot back at him. "Things like this take time."

"I am just trying to be honest dude. I can see that Bella cares for you but I honestly think that she only sees you as a good friend, not a future lover." Quil stated bluntly.

"It's nice to know that I have your support, Ateara..." Embry snapped.

"I am just trying to be a good friend. I am not going to lie to you." Quil said quietly.

"When I want your opinion I will ask for it." Embry turned his back on his friend and snatched the gift away from him. He felt hurt that Quil had no faith in him. He was certain that all it was going to take was a bit more time before Bella finally admitted to herself that it was okay to move on.

Quil watched Embry leave and his heart felt heavy. He had tried his best; he couldn't have been more honest about what he and everyone else could plainly see. Embry was heading for a fall and all he could do was be there for him when it happened.

_**A/N-Sorry this chapter was so short but I have just been so busy. Thanks for reading! **_


	19. Chapter 19

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Nineteen-Blindsided**

Bella looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. Even the red shirt she was wearing had failed to bring colour to her pale complexion. She smoothed down the calf length black skirt she was wearing; it was teamed with a pair of low heeled black shoes. Bella still had trouble walking in anything other than low heels. The light from the overhead light glinted on the simple silver bracelet that adorned her left wrist. On the end of the bracelet dangled the wolf charm that Jake had made for her, she lifted it to her lips and kissed it, closing her eyes as she did so picturing his beloved face.

She had finally reached a decision about Embry; it was time that she was honest about her feelings. She had already left it too long, constantly fretting over hurting him. But after the events of the past couple of weeks Bella knew that she could no longer delay telling him the truth. Whether she did it now or later, he was going to be upset, that was inevitable. Bella's biggest failing was being afraid of confrontation or upsetting anyone, it was just not in her nature. She had held onto the hope that Embry would maybe meet another girl who would capture his interest, but it was not to be. Maybe now that she was finally gaining the courage to be honest it would free him to go out and meet some other girl. Bella loved him, but only as a friend. She just wanted to see him happy and settled with the right girl.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie. Embry was here. Bella pulled her shoulders back and took a calming breath. "I can do this..." she murmured before she left her room and headed down the stairs.

As she reached the front door he knocked again. Bella pulled her lips up into a hesitant smile and opened the door expecting to greet Embry, except it wasn't him, it was Seth.

XXXXXXX

"Hey you look nice, where are you off to? Meeting Angela?" Seth said easily as he leaned down to her and kissed her cheek softly with his warm lips.

Bella's hand flew up to her cheek as he pulled away and smiled down at her. "I d...didn't know you were coming over." She stammered in response to his question.

Seth shrugged his shoulders. "I am supposed to be on patrol but as I was passing through this way I couldn't resist just popping in to see you for a few minutes." He gave her one of his happy grins as he reached out to take her hand in his own.

"That's so sweet..." Bella replied softly, gazing up at him. "I wish I had known I would never have agreed to go out."

Seth laughed. "You didn't know and I don't want you to feel guilty about going out with your friend. I just missed you, that's all."

"I missed you too..." Bella admitted sadly.

Seth looked at her with concern, she seemed so melancholy. "Are you alright Bella?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I am meeting up with Embry tonight, not Angela. He is taking me to dinner."

"Embry..."Seth's expression darkened. "Is this like a date or something? Are you trying to tell me something here?"

"No Seth it's not like that..." Bella hurried to reassure him. "He came by while I was at work today and asked me out to dinner. I tried to make an excuse but you know me I felt guilty and I found myself agreeing."

Seth felt his irrational jealousy slip away. He pulled her into his arms and rested his head on top of hers. Bella melted gratefully against him. "I'm sorry Bella; this has not been easy on you having to deal with this situation. I think it's time I talked to Embry about how we both feel. Delaying it has just made things worse."

"I had already decided to do that myself tonight." Bella admitted, pulling out of his embrace.

"No I think it best if it comes from me." Seth said firmly. "I don't want you caught up in the crossfire."

Bella bit her bottom lip nervously as she shook her head again. "Seth this is between me and Embry. I need to be the one who lets him down gently."

Seth took both of her hands in his and held then tightly. "Bella how do you think you will be able to handle it when you admit you have feelings for me, huh? He is gonna be hurt and I worry how he will react to that. "

"I wasn't going to mention that part yet Seth. I thought if I just told him that I only see him as a close friend and maybe later on down the line, after he has calmed down or even met someone else, we can tell him the rest." She told him in a rush.

"You mean lie? Haven't we all had enough of the secrecy? I am tired of concealing how I feel about you. It's time that not only Embry knew the truth but the rest of the pack as well." Seth replied determinedly.

Bella winced. "I am not ready for that, Seth. I can't handle everyone knowing. Please for me just wait. Let me tell Embry tonight how I really feel and later on we can tell everyone about our feelings for each other." She begged him.

Seth stared down into Bella's anxious brown eyes. He could see how panicked she was about having to face Embry. He didn't like it but he found himself agreeing to her request. "Okay, you talk to Embry tonight and when he has calmed down we will tell everyone about how we feel. I want to be able to take you on a proper date, Bella."

"A date?" Bella's gave him a small smile. "I think I would like that too."

"Cool..."Seth said softly. He gazed at her intently for a moment before he leaned down and gently pressed his mouth onto hers. It was only a brief kiss before he pulled away and studied her reaction. It was the first time he had ever attempted to kiss her on the mouth. Bella touched her lips; they were still tingling with his warmth.

Seth traced one finger along her cheek. "Next time I kiss you it will be because you ask me too." His voice was husky with suppressed emotion. "I have to go. I will come by later, see how it went with Embry."

Bella could only nod. She seemed to have lost the power of speech. She gave him a tentative wave as she watched him disappear into the surrounding forest. "It won't be too long, Seth." She murmured, wishing that she had just kissed him back.

XXXXXX

Embry sat across from Bella and watched her eat the rest of her meal. It hadn't taken him long to plough his way through his own. His wolf metabolism made it almost impossible for him to eat slowly. He had brought her to a small, expensive restaurant in Port Angeles. His new employer, Tony Jackson had recommended it to him. It was a comfortable and very intimate setting; all the tables were taken up by other couples.

"How was the food?" Embry asked Bella when she eventually finished her meal.

She gave him a wan smile. "It's great, thank you." She said politely.

Embry frowned; Bella seemed on edge, she had hardly spoken much all evening. Usually their conversation flowed easily but he could sense the tension in the air. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, her cheeks flushed red as her smile faltered. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, Bella?" He said gently.

"Yeah, once or twice..." she joked lamely. The tremor in her voice was obvious.

"Bella its okay..."Embry reassured her, totally unaware of why she was so nervous. "I know that this is hard because of Jake and everything. It's just me you know; there is no need to feel so panicked."

Bella lowered her head as she tried to hide the traitorous tears that were beginning to well up in her eyes. Embry was looking at her so tenderly and the love was written all over his face. How the hell was she going to tell him that she only loved him as a friend? She felt his hand touch her chin gently as he tilted her face back up to meet his. His thumb wiped away the tear that had leaked out of her eye.

"I understand, Bells. I know that it has been hard for you to move on from Jake. I promise that I will be patient." He gazed into her eyes and smiled.

"Embry, I need to tell..." Bella's voice was choked as she tried to get the words out before he said anymore.

"I have something for you..." He interrupted her suddenly. He let go of her face and leaned down, pulling out the gift from the bag he had brought with him. He carefully placed it in front of her, smiling happily. "Go on Bella, open it."

Bella's face drained of colour as she stared down at the gift box. She recognised it from earlier; he had been carrying it when he invited her to dinner when he visited her at work. She remained mute as she tried to think about what to do, he had totally blindsided her.

"Go on, Bella open it..." Embry said again his voice eager.

Bella didn't have a choice; her hands trembled as she fumbled with the box. Embry laughed and took it from her opening it easily. "What do you think?"

She gasped as she saw the gold chain with the letter B dangling from the end. It was beautiful, the charm had small diamonds down the side of the letter B and they glinted in the dim light. It came with small diamond earrings. Embry picked up the necklace and turned the charm over, on the back of the letter was engraved the words '_all my love, Embry_.'

"It's beautiful..." she stammered.

"Let me put it on you." Embry's face was glowing with happiness. He rose up from the table and stood behind Bella. He clasped the delicate chain around her neck and then knelt down beside her so he could admire it. "You are so beautiful Bella..." he declared.

Bella felt her face heating up as she tried to think about what to do. An overwhelming feeling of being trapped washed over her and she had to grip the table to stop herself from fainting. How could she possibly tell him now after this? It would break him, he looked so happy. Her heart thundered loudly in her ears as she watched him talking but not hearing one word.

"Hey Bella did you hear me? Do you want dessert?" Embry asked her.

Bella struggled to pull herself out of her funk. "Yeah...t...that would be nice." She stammered again.

Embry smiled at her, she was so adorable. He couldn't take his eyes away from the necklace dangling around her slim neck. "Okay, what would you like?"

"You choose..." Bella forced her lips to twist into a smile. "Err while you're doing that I might just visit the ladies room." She said hastily.

"Alright, you can put the earrings on while you're there..."Embry held out the box and Bella took it, her hands were still shaking. Embry just assumed she was overwhelmed with his gift.

"Thanks, Embry..." Bella gave him another small smile before fleeing to the ladies room. She shoved the door open and hid in one of the toilet cubicles, trying to get her emotions under control. How had the night turned out like this? She had been so determined to let Embry down gently and now he had thrown all her carefully laid plans through a loop. She thought of Seth and tears began to leak out of her eyes. What was he going to say? Feeling overwhelmed and emotional, she held her head in her hands and let the tears flow.

_**A/N-What should Bella do? Do you think that Seth should be the one to tell Embry the truth as Bella is clearly struggling to deal with the situation? Sighs...thanks for reading.**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Yearning**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N-Be warned this chapter is sad, sighs...**

**Part Twenty-Missing**

Embry pulled up outside the Swan house and switched off the engine to the pick up. The resounding silence as the engine died felt ominous, he glanced over at Bella who was sitting with her hands twisting nervously in her lap and her teeth biting into her bottom lip. Ever since she had returned from the ladies room in the restaurant she had been acting nervous and preoccupied, she had not spoken on the journey home and Embry began to get a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had thought things had been going well, she had appeared to love the present he had bought and allowed him to put the necklace around her neck and she had come back from the bathroom wearing the matching diamond earrings.

He twisted in his seat so that he was facing her fully and gently reached out and took hold of her hands. "Bells, are you okay?"

Bella's head shot up and she finally looked at him frowning. "Don't call me Bells, that was Jake's name for me..." she said, an angry tone to her voice.

Embry flinched at her harsh tone but he ploughed ahead nonetheless. "I'm sorry, I just hear your dad call you that too and thought you liked being called that. Please Bella I know that something is worrying you. Is it about Jake? I told you that I understand if you are feeling guilty about moving on..."

Bella pulled her hands out of his and shook her head. "Please Em, just stop. This has nothing to do with moving on. I don't want to hurt you, you know that I love you..."

Embry stared at her completely stunned, before she could continue with the rest of her explanation he reached over and took her face between his hands, he had completely misunderstood her. "You love me? I knew it Bella, I knew it. Sweetheart don't be worried about admitting your feelings..."

Bella stared back at him, her eyes wide. She couldn't believe what was happening, he had not let her finish and now he thought that she had confessed her love. She saw his lips moving as he whispered endearments to her and she closed her eyes, trying to gather her wits. She had to make him listen to the truth. She opened her eyes again and gazed back at him with renewed determination. This could not continue. "Embry, I..."

Before she could get anymore words out she saw Embry's lips part into a happy smile before he quickly inclined his head toward hers. "I love you too, Bella, so much..." he whispered before he kissed her full on the mouth.

It was at this point that Seth, who had finished his patrol and headed straight over to Bella's as he had promised, emerged from the trees. His keen eyesight picked out the scene playing right before his disbelieving eyes. He watched as Embry Call leaned in and began kissing Bella. Seth had never believed in the phrase, seeing red when you became angry, but this was exactly what was happening now. His vision blurred as he found himself sprinting over to the pick up and yanking open the drivers door, he caught hold of the back of a startled Embry's shirt and pulled him easily out of the vehicle, throwing him to the ground. "What the fuck do you think you are doing laying hands on my mate?" he yelled at Embry, his voice deepening as the Alpha in him took over.

Embry, who had tried to rise, sank back onto the ground as he stared up at Seth in alarm, complete incomprehension written all over his face.

XXXXXX

Leah and Sam were enjoying an intimate dinner alone when her cell phone rang. She cursed In irritation and was just about to answer the call when Sam took it from her. "Not tonight Lee, just ignore it."

"It could be important, the last time I ignored my cell my dad was dying in the hospital," she said fiercely.

Sam felt guilt overwhelm him, he handed her the phone back immediately. "I'm sorry. Lee..."

Leah gave him an exasperated look as she flipped open the phone to answer the call. "It's Bella.." she muttered. "Hey girl, what's up?"

Sam could hear the conversation easily from where he was sitting and he exchanged a look of alarm with Leah as he heard Bella's desperate cries for help.

"Lee, please you have to come. Seth and Embry have turned wolf and run off into the trees fighting, I tried to follow but they were already gone..." Bella's breath was coming in short pants as her panic overwhelmed her.

"Why would they be fighting, Bella?" Leah demanded feeling completely nonplussed.

Bella stumbled through her explanation as she described the unfortunate events that had led to the current predicament. As her story reached the end Leah told her to stay put and she would seek out her brother and Embry. Bella cried with relief as she begged her friend to hurry. Leah ended the call and locked eyes with Sam, his expression was a mirror of her own.

"Shit..." was all he could think of to say.

"Shit is right..." Leah sighed as she wondered how Bella always managed to get herself into such messes.

XXXXXX

When Leah and Sam phased they both nearly dropped to the floor as the strong emotions coming from Seth and Embry resounded through the pack mind link. They could see the vicious fight that was happening at that very moment through the two combatants eyes. Seth was not using his Alpha power to overcome Embry, this was an old fashioned fight over their shared love of a woman. The hurt and anger was overwhelming on both sides as they fought, each trying to gain the upper hand.

Embry now knew everything that had happened between Seth and Bella, his Alpha had not been able to hide his thoughts as he saw red at what he saw as Embry encroaching on his mate. Embry's unhappiness and despair at finding that he had been duped made him lash out and he attacked Seth with renewed vigour. The two wolves rolled over and over in the dirt as they used every trick in their arsenal to gain dominance.

"You bastard, you had to take everything from me..." Embry seethed through the pack mind.

"I took nothing, Bella loves me of her own free will. It's you who refused to see the truth..." Seth managed to gain a hold of the scruff around Embry's neck and he used his greater weight and strength to pin him to the ground.

A whine escaped Embry's jaw as his face was pressed into the dirt. A large tear slipped down the length of his muzzle as he finally submitted, laying supine on the forest floor, his eyes closed. "End it Seth, I have nothing left anyway without her..."

This thought made Seth stagger back and he released his hold on his pack brother, his anger evaporating instantly as he heard the utter despair in Embry's voice. It was at this point that Leah and Sam reached them, they had both been witness to everything through the shared mind link. The three of them surrounded Embry as he remained on the forest floor, eyes closed, only the rise and fall of his chest showing that he was alive.

XXXXXX

It literally took Seth to issue an Alpha command before Embry finally rose to his feet. He refused to look or respond to any of their worried questions. Instead as they all began the journey back to the Swan house he kept well back, growling at Sam when he tried to keep him company. Leah and Seth went on ahead, both not speaking, keeping their own counsel. After twenty minutes had passed they saw the trees thinning up ahead, they were almost at the Swan house. One by one they phased back, Leah disappearing off into some tree cover to change in privacy.

Seth gave a quick glance at Embry who was still hanging back, refusing to look at anyone, he seemed utterly broken. Seth felt exhaustion wash over him, he had been on patrol for much of the day and his fight with Embry had further weakened him, so much so that his normally astute senses were dulled. It was only now that he was back in his human form that he was able to focus. An uneasy feeling in his stomach had him making a sudden dash for the Swan house. Something was wrong with Bella. The others stared after him in alarm as he disappeared.

He broke through the trees and reached the house, his eyes immediately zoning in on the driveway and his worst fears were confirmed. Bella's distinctive red Chevy truck was no longer parked in the driveway. It was missing and so was she...

_**A/N-Sorry for the short chapter, thanks for reading! **_


	21. Chapter 21

**Yearning **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Part Twenty One-Peace **

First Beach was deserted, the waves from the choppy sea crashed against the shore. It was a clear night, hardly any clouds hovered in the sky to hide the full moon that was hanging low over the horizon. Bella felt like she could reach out and touch it as it loomed above her. She stumbled along the beach, her bare feet making tracks in the sand. She had abandoned her shoes and rolled her jeans up to her knees as she strolled along the shore. The stiff breeze blew her long hair away from her face as she lifted the bottle of vodka to her lips and drank the clear liquid. It burned as it slipped down her throat and she coughed, nearly tripping as she did so.

The alcohol had not taken long to affect her, Bella's tolerance had always been low. She lifted both arms in the air, the bottle clutched loosely in hand, and threw her head back so she could stare up into the sky. "Jake where are you?" She said loudly, tears beginning to course down her pale cheeks. "I messed up real bad..."

She sighed when she received no answer and continued to stumble her way down the beach, occasionally bringing the bottle to her lips as she took a swig. Her head was feeling fuzzy as she headed for the old bleached out driftwood log that had been the setting for many a romantic interlude with Jacob. Bella almost envisioned that he would be there waiting for her, she squinted her eyes and peered into the dark. She was almost certain that there was a figure sitting there, the muscular back and dark hair brushing along broad shoulders were so familiar and beloved. A gasp left her lips as she dropped the vodka bottle in the sand and began to plough her way over to the man sitting on the log. As he heard her approach, the tall figure turned and Bella saw the twinkle of dark brown eyes and the flash of perfect white teeth. A smile broke out over her face as Bella finally reached the driftwood log and threw herself into Jacob's arms.

XXXXXX

"Where have you been? I have been so lonely without you..." Bella snuggled further into his arms and gave a happy sigh as she felt his familiar embrace.

"Oh Bells..." Jacob whispered gently, kissing the top of her head. "I've missed you too, honey."

Bella raised her head and lifted her hand so she could brush his cheek. "Are you real?" She questioned.

"As real as you want me to be..." He replied ambiguously.

Bella frowned. "What does that mean? You're not leaving again, please Jake I can't bear it without you. I love you so much."

Tears began to leak out of her eyes and Jacob brushed them away, giving her a sad smile. "Bells I will never leave you, not really. I was always here..." He placed a hand over her heart and she felt it begin to thud painfully in her chest.

"Then why am I only seeing you now?" She asked again, clutching onto the hand that he had placed over her heart.

"Because you needed me." He said simply.

"Oh Jake, I've really messed up. I hurt Embry and...Seth..." She admitted. "I let you down too, I'm sorry..."

Jacob cradled her close to his chest as she began to weep in earnest, her guilt and sadness overwhelming her. He rocked her gently until she calmed down. "Honey none of this is your fault. The only thing that you are guilty of is being loveable..."

Bella sniffed and tried not to smile, it was such a Jacob answer. "You were always good at making excuses for me..."

"Bells, you are looking at it all the wrong way. You shouldn't feel guilty for moving on. I wouldn't want you to be alone. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy..." Jacob advised her, his voice husky. He looked at her with so much love in his eyes that Bella melted.

"None of that matters now that you are here again." She sank back against him in relief.

Jacob stroked her hair away from her face and gazed at her, an unfathomable expression on his face. "Honey, I can't stay, you know that. My time in this place is over. We will be together again, but not in this lifetime."

Bella felt stricken, she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly holding onto him desperately. "No you can't leave again. Take me with you, please..." she begged him.

Jacob's form began to shimmer as he untangled himself from her hold. Bella felt him kiss the top of her head again before a bright light blinded her vision. She saw it surrounding him and she cried out his name. Jacob turned to face her one last time and mouthed the words. 'I love you...be happy..." then he was gone.

"Jake, come back..." Bella cried out again, she fell back against the hard wood of the log as she began to sob. Seconds passed before she felt a pair of warm arms wind round her and pick her up easily. She turned her head into Seth's warm chest so she could hear the rapid beat of his heart.

"It's okay, Bella I've got you now..." He murmured as he held her tight in his arms.

"I love you, Seth..." Bella whispered gratefully snuggling further into his embrace.

"I know, Bella. I love you too..." He smiled down at her in relief as he carried her back to where she had parked her truck.

XXXXXX

Leah looked Bella over anxiously. She held the warm mug of coffee and waved it in front of her face. "Come on girl, drink this. You are going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning..."

Bella groaned and pushed Leah's hand away. "No, I can't face it..." she mumbled as her stomach churned. Her head was resting on Seth's lap as he stroked her forehead, his other hand was resting on her stomach, massaging it gently.

"Give her a break Lee. Drinking black coffee might work for you, but I doubt Bella wants to mix that with Vodka right now..." He grinned when he heard Bella groan again. He couldn't contain his happiness that she was safe and had finally admitted her love out loud.

"I was only trying to help..."Leah huffed irritably. "I interrupted a romantic dinner to come to your aid little brother..." She arched one perfectly formed eyebrow at him and Seth laughed.

"Sorry about that sis..." He said reaching out and ruffling her short hair.

Leah slapped his hand away. "Hey girl, will you control your man..." She said as she rose and drank the coffee instead. She hated waste.

Bella opened one bleary eye. "Seth leave your sister alone. Lee, I'm sorry I ruined your romantic meal..." she apologised guiltily.

Leah finished the coffee and gave Bella a smirk. "Actually you did me a favour. I don't know what it is about these wolf boys but none of them can cook to save their asses..."

"I heard that..." Sam yelled out from the Clearwater's kitchen. He had been attempting to rustle up a snack for everyone.

"Wait for it..." Leah held up one finger and counted to ten. The sudden sound of a smoke alarm going off made Bella wince in pain. She pulled a cushion over her head. Leah and Seth burst out laughing as they heard Sam cursing.

XXXXXX

Quil groaned as he heard the rapping on his front door. "Who the fuck is that?" He muttered.

"Language, Ateara..." Angela Weber mumbled. She reluctantly untangled herself from Quils arms.

Quil gave her a smug grin as he leaned down to kiss her. They had been dating secretly for the past month, keeping the relationship to themselves as they wanted to get to know each other better without any outside pressure. "I'll be back in a moment, babe..."

He rolled out of the bed as the pounding on the door increased. "I'm coming..." he yelled out impatiently. He reached the door and yanked it open to find a distraught Embry on his doorstep. He looked his best friend over, Embry was covered In cuts and bruises as if he had been in a fight. "What the hell happened man?"

Embry hung his head. "I'm sorry, I had no one else to talk to. I've lost her, Quil...I found out she is in love with Seth. They have had a thing going on for a while. I feel like such a fucking fool..."

Quil's mouth dropped open. He had not expected this turn of events. He had warned Embry that Bella only loved him as a friend, it had always been obvious to him, but the news about Seth was a shock. "I'm sorry man. I had no idea..."

"I don't know what the hell to do Quil, I love her so much..." Embry's shoulders shook as he tried to contain his emotions.

Quil was about to invite him in when he heard Angela coming up behind him. She had come out to investigate and see who it was. She was tying up the sash of her borrowed dressing gown when she caught sight of Embry. She gave him a hesitant smile, she used to have a crush on Quil's best friend but had moved on when she realised that he had no interest in her that way. Her feelings for Quil had been an unexpected surprise but she could not imagine being with anyone else now.

"Ange, I am just going to have a chat with Em. You don't mind babe, do you?" Quil grinned at her and she smiled back at him.

"No, of course not...why I don't I make you both a drink?" She suggested.

Embry felt stunned as he watched Quil and Angela interacting. He had no clue that they even knew each other that well, let alone dating or to put it bluntly having sex. They seemed cosy and at ease with one another. By the look on his friend's face it seemed that Angela was going to be a keeper, he had never seen Quil so relaxed and happy. Usually he put on an act when he was trying to impress a girl, but not with Angela. Embry knew that he was intruding, he backed away and began to make his excuses.

"Look Quil, it's okay. I'll be fine...we'll talk tomorrow."

"No Em, it's fine. Come in..." Quil tried again.

"No honestly, like I said we'll talk in the morning. It was nice to see you again Angela..." Embry interjected quickly.

"You too Embry..." she said shyly.

"Are you sure about this Em?" Quil checked with him one last time.

Embry nodded and gave him a half smile before bidding them both goodnight.

"Is he going to be alright?" Angela came up to Quil's side and slipped her arms around his waist.

Quil pulled her into his arms and sighed. "I hope so, babe. I hope so..." he said as he watched his friend disappear into the night.

XXXXXXX

Leah and Sam had left for his house and Bella and Seth were finally alone. His mother was working the night shift at the hospital. Bella was now cuddled up against Seth's side as she dozed on and off, the drink had made her sleepy. Seth held her close and kept touching her gently, he would stroke her hair or trace a finger over her face. She looked so beautiful. Even though it had been a stressful day he was just glad that it had ended on a high note. The situation with Embry still needed to be dealt with, but he was just so happy that he had Bella in his arms and that she had admitted that she loved him.

"My Seth..." Bella mumbled as she nestled closer to him. Seth smiled down at her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He rested his head next to hers and closed his eyes as he finally succumbed to sleep.

_**A/N-Thanks for reading...I know that you all thought that Embry was going to end up with Angela in this story but I have someone else in mind for him. You have already been introduced to her in this story! **_


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